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TheJadeDragon

587d

I'm just gonna say it, this has been the worst summer of my life. I know that sounds dramatic let my tell you why. My friends are leaving for college. I have intense driving anxiety so I still don't have my license. I applied for an art studio and they rejected me. Still don't have a job. Found out I need hip surgery but insurance won't pay for until I do 6 weeks of pt. I'm having the worst anxiety/panic attacks of my life. My anxiety and depression are at an all time high. And a couple days ago, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. I've been through the stages of grief more than once, but this time feels different. I've been experiencing all of the stages everyday. Depression to anger to acceptance back to depression and then denial and anger again. What makes me the most uncomfortable is when I feel acceptance. Is it because my brain and my emotions are so overloaded that I just can't feel that much anymore? Or could it be something else?

Top reply
    • Lunarr

      586d

      Sounds like you've had a string of bad luck and major life changes. I'm sorry you're going through all that at once and I don't think you're being dramatic at all. It's normal to have worse mental health when dealing with one of those events let alone all of them at the same time. Being chronically ill, I'm very familiar with cycling through the stages of grief daily, sometimes even more than once a day as my body repeatedly fails and disappoints me. I would say it probably feels different to you because it is different, you've never experienced all your friends leaving town while also having relationship issues, job insecurity, and potentially needing a surgery you can't afford. It's hard and I want you to cut yourself some slack for doing the best you can with the cards you've been dealt, even if it doesn't feel like you're handling it "well" or "correctly". It might feel like things will be this bad forever but I assure you that they most likely will not be. One day at a time and all that. Sometimes it takes a while to weather the storm. When you say you are uncomfortable about feeling acceptance, how are you defining acceptance? Is it that you've accepted things are going to suck forever no matter what you do? Or is it that life is really hard sometimes and you can't change events out of your control or that have already happened? I would say there is a vast difference between those two states of mind, the first being more of a defeated acceptance and the second being mindful and kind towards yourself. Try telling yourself the second, because it's true. You can't control the choices of your friends, boyfriend, or hiring managers. All you can do is step back and decide how you want to approach it. Maybe you suggest a biweekly or monthly video call with your whole friend group so everyone can catch up. Maybe you sit down with your boyfriend and ask why he wants to break up and if there is anything you can do on your end to better support him (sometimes the answer there is no, which can be tough). Maybe you decide to take some time to beef up your portfolio and apply again to that studio or others in the future. I think, if you feel more defeated acceptance, it could very well be because you're tired, yes. We're not built to be functional under constant duress and I hope you can make some time for self care and self soothing activities. Also, it may assure you to know that I'm 20 and have my license but don't drive because of intense driving anxiety as well. I can barely walk somedays and don't trust my body enough to operate a vehicle without hurting someone. This baffles and confuses most older adults in my life who don't understand but I've found lots of people around our age feel similarly due to different reasons. Anywho, I hope things get better for you soon. You can DM me if you ever wanna chat. Know that you're not alone in this

    • Lunarr

      586d

      Sounds like you've had a string of bad luck and major life changes. I'm sorry you're going through all that at once and I don't think you're being dramatic at all. It's normal to have worse mental health when dealing with one of those events let alone all of them at the same time. Being chronically ill, I'm very familiar with cycling through the stages of grief daily, sometimes even more than once a day as my body repeatedly fails and disappoints me. I would say it probably feels different to you because it is different, you've never experienced all your friends leaving town while also having relationship issues, job insecurity, and potentially needing a surgery you can't afford. It's hard and I want you to cut yourself some slack for doing the best you can with the cards you've been dealt, even if it doesn't feel like you're handling it "well" or "correctly". It might feel like things will be this bad forever but I assure you that they most likely will not be. One day at a time and all that. Sometimes it takes a while to weather the storm. When you say you are uncomfortable about feeling acceptance, how are you defining acceptance? Is it that you've accepted things are going to suck forever no matter what you do? Or is it that life is really hard sometimes and you can't change events out of your control or that have already happened? I would say there is a vast difference between those two states of mind, the first being more of a defeated acceptance and the second being mindful and kind towards yourself. Try telling yourself the second, because it's true. You can't control the choices of your friends, boyfriend, or hiring managers. All you can do is step back and decide how you want to approach it. Maybe you suggest a biweekly or monthly video call with your whole friend group so everyone can catch up. Maybe you sit down with your boyfriend and ask why he wants to break up and if there is anything you can do on your end to better support him (sometimes the answer there is no, which can be tough). Maybe you decide to take some time to beef up your portfolio and apply again to that studio or others in the future. I think, if you feel more defeated acceptance, it could very well be because you're tired, yes. We're not built to be functional under constant duress and I hope you can make some time for self care and self soothing activities. Also, it may assure you to know that I'm 20 and have my license but don't drive because of intense driving anxiety as well. I can barely walk somedays and don't trust my body enough to operate a vehicle without hurting someone. This baffles and confuses most older adults in my life who don't understand but I've found lots of people around our age feel similarly due to different reasons. Anywho, I hope things get better for you soon. You can DM me if you ever wanna chat. Know that you're not alone in this

    • Skipeople

      586d

      I dont think that sounds dramatic at all. You have been struggling a lot, it sounds to me, and what you are feeling and your reactions to things that are happening are 100% valid. Emotions take a toll on us mentally, emotionally, and physically. I can relate to the driving anxoety and having friends go off to college while you feel left behind. I was terrified of driving until my dad forced me to do it simply to get my license. Even then, I rarely drove until I finally became comfortable enough to do it on my own. I'm sorry things have been so hard for you and I feel a lot of empathy for you as I can relate to the emotions you have described, though for different reasons. Take it hour by hour if you need! Emotions change and will not last forever (though it may seem they do which is also a valid feeling). You have strength and courage to tackle these emotions and events head on. Keep trying to care for yourself and keep pushing forward. You will find your way in this world.

    • Tanahtso

      586d

      I had a similar experience a few years ago when someone close to me left. I felt a cycle of emotions which I forcefully internalized and attempted to suppress eventually causing me to feel empty (Anhedonia). Mentally I had given up probably due to exhaustion so yes, I think it is an overload. Not long after, I became suicidal. While I can’t give any suggestions that would lead to a solution, I will say to please be patient and loving of yourself, allow yourself to feel all those things although it can be exhausting. For a year or two, I legit couldn’t cry even when I wanted to and it was pretty painful. So I would say to let your body go through its natural process of coping with pain and try to give yourself more time. 🫂 I believe it will get better and if you ever need to talk about things, please feel free to message me. 🙏

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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