Struggling with Dissociative Identity Disorder and Overwhelming Emotions

TW: introjects, trauma, disability, poverty, self hatred, and nonexistence wishing sometimes I hear the other alters echoing when I stop existing. one of them sounds too much like my mom and the other too much like my uncle and another my ex. I feel icky and they feel icky. I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking. it's just overwhelming and scary. and they are hurtful. to me and probably my partner. but trying to stop them makes them more angry. and they hate themselves. and I hate myself for not doing more. and I hate being poor and crippled and bedridden and I'm just exhausted. I can barely hold my phone anymore. I've overworked my body and it crumbled. I can't do any hobbies and I am isolated apart from my partner who tries to care for me but we are impoverished and woefully behind. everything I do worsens my state or the situation. I just wanna lay down and not wake up.