Struggling with PTSD: Needing Help and Support

my ptsd has been getting worse and now It's gotten to a point where, I cry almost everyday and I can't eat (havnt for 3 days almost 4) and barely talk, I can't run like this. it's hurting me and idk ehat to do. I want to reach out but I'm so afraid of being judged by everybody and loosing all I've worked so hard for. moving hurts so much. I'm so ready to give up, I wanna lay down and never get up, but not die. be bound to my bed. I hate my body, I just want sombody to care for me. I need a hug, but from sombody who's bigger than me yk? like sombody who can cover me for a moment, but I'm to scared to ask. I don't wanna be a creep, or a weirdo. I don't want anybody to see me as weak, im so afraid as being perceived as a weak bitch. help