Tw: mention of overd*se (not current) and mention of past sui stuff but not described at all

So yesterday at work I was fucked up mentally and sleep deprived ( by yesterday I mean Friday).

I was talking to one of my coworkers who functions "normal" about my quirks and issues and she asked me how I managed because she would hate to have all my sensory issues and health stuff.

And my response was blunt and truthful. "Haha. I don't. I mean I *do* but it's hard. But I don't want to be taking an ass ton of medicine that'll just make me even more depressed due to the fact I have trauma from overdosing on antidepressants a long while ago." ( It really wasn't a long while ago- just over three years actually. Ironically enough on antidepressants)

And..... Honestly saying that response has made me think long and hard about how I've always pushed my mental health away. The past couple of months have been rough on me. I've been just stashing away my feelings and pretending that they don't exist or that certain things don't get to me but in truth I'm so fucked up mentally I don't even know what to truly do anymore.

I've got an appointment with my regular doctor on the 12th to get some basic antianxiety meds but I think I'm going to talk to her about a referral to the counciling place next door so I can get in easier without a 3 month wait. And if possible hopefully she can prescribe an antidepressant to help me get over this funk I've got going on.

I know what medicine works for me for both the anxiety and the depression from all the stuff I was switched from and around on a few years back. So hopefully it would help ( if she actually CAN prescription it to me- I mean one is an antihistamine and the other just basic antidepressant medicine it doesn't give a high at all so she *should* be able to at least temporarily prescribe it).

It just hurts to acknowledge that yeah I'm fucked up a lot. And it took today to realize it because me and my other coworker ( he also had his battle with depression and suicidal stuff) ...... We just kinda had a casual conversation about our past instances we had done and we both were just calm about it. And I don't know if he opened up about it just because he can kinda read that I'm struggling and it's a "you're not alone" ADHD thing or I'm just easy to talk to about stuff like that because I'm decently understanding.

Either way it made me take a long hard look at myself and what I've gone through emotionally that I just pushed away and tbh I'm very fucked up.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Complex post traumatic stress disorder


Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

View all

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.