my mom is the main cause of my childhood trauma. I try to talk to her about some of the things that happened but everytime it "at least you didn't grow up with my mom" "you would have hated living without x, y, z" "your childhood wasn't bad" "Your not going to call me a bad mom, you can get out of my house!" (I never called her a bad mom) I wish she would listen to me and take some responsibility for once, I wish she would say she was sorry for all the bs she put me and my siblings through, but she acts like she was the best mom ever. when I have kids I'll never treat them the way she treated us.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Child emotional/psychological abuse
I’m wondering if your mom would rather move on then dredge up the past. When anyone has kids and life happens you really try your best there’s no parenting book they give you and of course as parents we do try to justify our decisions in life because I’d like to hope everyone is doing the best they can. But we are human and we do make mistakes some bigger then others. Some we want to hide from, others run away from and others we don’t ever want to come back up.
Another thought is you might remember things a certain way but it could be different from what your parent remembers. And to be honest you might be poking at something they are not proud of maybe a bad decision ? which might be why your getting the response your getting. I completely understand your needing validation and someone to just Listen but I’m wondering if there’s a different way to get that because the response makes me think she’s feeling attacked.
I’m thinking the first steps you should take is to go see a professional therapist why ? Well to see what tools they can offer you and what steps you can take to have this conversation with your parent and they can help you break this down. And what to do when this conversation isn’t going the way you want it too. I think it could be really helpful to you. There’s no shame in overcoming trauma.
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