Ash66

257d

I hate myself I hate these flashbacks.I hate that this is effecting my boyfriend and I relationship .I hate my ex I hate him so much he can go out of his house and not fear I'll hurt him he doesn't worry if he makes me mad I'll hurt him I do.I hate freaking out because I have to going out .I hate that I had to leave to save my own life and still get blamed.I hate hearing something drop and cover my ears and having a panic attack.Its not fair I don't deserve any of this I was 17 he was 19 he knew he was emotional abusing me.Somedays I just wish he was going through what I am I want people to have to remind him he is safe.What did I do to deserve this?

Delusional disorder

Chronic Generalized pain

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • MissWilwarin

    257d

    I wonder that all the time. You have to learn to accept that shitty things happen to good people for absolutely no reason.

    • Ash66

      256d

      That's true I hope someday I can accept that it's not my fault too. Thanks of reaching out take care❤️❤️

  • Jaymur

    257d

    I’m in the same boat as you I am currently in a relationship and I keep having PTSD episodes of my last relationship he used to beat me all the time and now that I’m with somebody new I’m paranoid all the time scared that my current boyfriend will put me through the same hell the last one did I’m trying to find people to talk to and help me get through it so that everything can be better and happier with the one I’m with

    • Ash66

      257d

      Sorry you through that.You can message me if you need anything 💗💗

  • AshPowell

    256d

    same. I understand how you feel.

  • AshPowell

    256d

    i understand that. ive been through that too.

    • Jaymur

      256d

      I have never learned how to properly cope and heal from dealing with narcissistic abuse because I was born and raised in it so I’m proud to be programmed to except the pain and believe that it’s my fault to believe that I have to fight and prove myself for someone to love me

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