Coping with Divorce and Borderline Personality Disorder

I have been divorced for 4 years. before that I was with the love of my life for 22 years. since that point I have been in a relationship for 3 years with somebody with borderline personality disorder. this has caused great distress in my life over these 3 years. we just ended it this week and my anxiety and depression although not as bad as previously, are still pretty bad. hopefully looking to find some semblance of normalcy that I felt I had 10 years ago. I thought I had the perfect life. wife, house, great job, kid. since my divorce all I have had is turmoil. I turned 50 this year and my plans for this point in my life were far different than what is actually happening. I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to be hopeful that the rest of my life will not be miserable.