Struggling with Body Image and Self-Hatred

so so proud of you for going through something of that nature, being totally invalidated, and still staying strong. remember to celebrate small victories! remember to be as patient with yourself as possible. you're doing your best, and that's what matters. relapsing is scary and hard, so is asking for help, but you got this. don't beat yourself up for things that are out of your control at times. despite the encouraging words, I also completely empathize with what you're going through. It's okay to not be okay ❤️

that is so frustrating and dangerous, i’m sorry. are you able to ask to switch to someone else so you can try and find someone more understanding?

That is so incredibly invalidating. It is crazy impressive how you managed to stay clean from SH after an experience like that, given it being extremely triggering. I'm on the same journey as you and it really (i know it's so annoying and i hate saying it) is about taking it one step at a time. I don't feel like going to the gym right now because i'm anxious and nauseous, but I was able to grab some ankle weights from target for a couple of dollars and used those tonight while watching Harry Potter. Even just stretching a little. It gives you back a little bit of control, and it does make a difference. SH is truly a tough addiction to break and frankly, i think about it every day too. The biggest thing that helped me (this could be totally stupid and irrelevant) is to keep it colder in my room. Something about the coldness of the metal makes me have a sensory breakdown. Also just putting them in really inconvenient places that you don't want to dig through. It's not an easy journey, but it takes a lot just to get through one day. You're doing great! And if god forbid you do relapse, you can still be proud of the time you weren't, and set the goal to make it even longer next time :)