Feeling Alone and Unworthy of Love

I'm sorry you went through that. The guy who hurt you is the one who missed out. You have a person out there and it will happen one day. Believe in yourself and someone will come into your life who will never want to leave.

The way I read this reminded me of myself when I was in my late teens/early 20s so I creeped over to your profile and you’re right about that age 💀 But given that that’s the case, your early 20s are a transitory period, because everyone’s kind of graduating into Real Adulthood, with Bills! but at wildly different times. People outgrow each other. It’s hard to ride out, but remember that the only person whose decisions will affect you every time is you. You don’t exist just to be something for someone else to quantify. Your value as a person is inherent. Focus on getting to know yourself, fill your life with things that make *YOU* happy, do yourself so authentically that you find people through the things you love. They already have common ground with you :)

I’m all too familiar with feeling like you’ll never find someone for you after a big heart break. I spent two years in that feeling before I found a guy who is 110% better for me than the guy who hurt me. It’s not easy, and it’s a horrible way to feel, but there is hope. have you tried dating apps? I found my bf on Hinge (definitely the app I’d recommend for looking for a relationship). The other thing I worked on in those two years was learning to love myself and enjoy my own company so that I didn’t feel rushed or like I need to settle out of fear of ending up alone bc I know I’d be okay on my own. I recruited the help of a CBT for that - no way could I have done it without help. Hang in there 💕

Im so sorry. I completely understand as a minority and a empath. Im here if you ever need to chat and I know one day you will find an amazing person worth all your time. The person who hurt you was not worth your effort and didn't deserve you please keep your head up love

Oh man I feel this one. I have no real advice for you because I don’t know what to do either, and I’m sorry for that, but I will say that the only thing that saves me from spiraling really hard about this 24/7 is busying myself and trying to force myself to enjoy my own company. I won’t sit here and tell you you’re beautiful and worthy and love will come one day, because even though all of that is true, it doesn’t help anyone to hear shallow cliches. So let me explain: it’s not healthy to push your feelings aside or not deal with things on a regular basis, so definitely please try to take whatever medication you may have been given and any other steps that could help (therapy, getting exercise, all the annoying stuff you don’t want to hear million more times). I also don’t want to advise you to isolate or avoid contact with non-romantic/sexual interests. However, there is one thing that has actually been surprisingly helpful for me to break out of my ruts of feeling unworthy thanks to BS men have pulled on me. It’s to force yourself to try to exist in your own space, without DMing or texting or swiping right on anyone, and simply stay busy. That can mean anything from lying in the dark listening to a new podcast to taking an art class to creating a morning ritual for yourself. It will feel lonely at first, and it will feel lonely from time to time afterwards, but you’ll find that you actually enjoy spending time with yourself. You might have to try new things to figure out what makes you feel okay being by yourself, but once you do that, whatever loneliness or self esteem issues you deal with won’t feel as important. Maybe love will come sneaking up on you immediately, or maybe it will take a month, or maybe it will take a year. There is no way to predict it or expedite it. It sucks so much, especially if you’re used to making things happen and all your friends and siblings are booed up. I’m looking at an entire year since my last genuine crush and sometimes it makes me really sad and self conscious that no one is hitting on me. But right now I’m okay with just hanging out, me myself and I, and chilling with my friends without constantly wishing I had a boyfriend to bring along. It will get easier, and then when love eventually does come it will be like a second heart popping up in your life, not half of your lonely sad heart finally being filled. It really takes experience to get there because people told me this constantly and it never stuck, but when you can sit with the fact that you aren’t with someone and don’t think you will be for some time, you can start to prioritize other important things that aren’t just love/sex/desirability. I promise you will find something fun or interesting that you didn’t care about much before and then when you do meet someone you can share it with them. You’ll also be a better version of you if you sit alone with parts of yourself and your past that you need to release. I know this is long but I hope it helps. Always here ❤️