Why can't I calm down?

how come anything that calms a normal person down only makes me even more anxious and have a meltdown or panic attack trying to do anything meditation 👎🏼 focusing on something else 👎🏼 fidgeting 👎🏼 watching something nice and friendly 👎🏼 cold things 👎🏼 warm things 👎🏼 sour candies 👎🏼 breathing exercises👎🏼 medication 👎🏼 etc 👎🏼....... why am I like this nothing helps I stimm but that only helps for a small amount of time before I end up having a panic attack or meltdown or both. I feel so alone with this I don't know what to do anymore I just want to cry I don't understand how all these things can help all these people but not me sometimes I feel as if I don't even belong here on this world at all. 😭😭😭😭