Nico_tiredd

87d

I've been talking to a guy recently that's living in a different state. We had talked about traveling to meet each other, and sending a crochet item I made. Now that I've mentioned it, he keeps making excuses or saying he doesn't know the address. Its really sending my mind into overdrive thinking he doesn't want a specific someone to see the gift I made or a surprise visit from me to see him with someone else. I'm not sure what exactly I should do or say. This is really upsetting me. Keep in mind he just got out of a relationship a couple months before we started talking, so we aren't officially together yet.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

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  • Kitkat0417

    87d

    I'm sorry that you're going through this. I would simply ask him why he keeps making excuses. Or distance yourself for awhile and see what he says. He may just be taking time and is afraid of getting into another relationship

    • Nico_tiredd

      87d

      Its alright! We've talked about it and he did tell he really cares about me but even seeing his ex upsets him and triggers bad memories. I'm being patient and waiting on him. My last relationship was about a year ago so I understand needing time before getting into a new commitment

  • ricecake

    87d

    if this makes you feel better, I’ve been very active online since I was a kid and have several online friends but my family is strict and serious about my safety so I also had to make up excuses about why I couldn’t see them. It’s probably not your fault or anyone’s fault at all

    • Nico_tiredd

      87d

      That's definitely how my family is, but he moved out at 18 and lives with a roommate. I've talked to them both on the phone and they both suggested I come visit. I'm just not sure if he really doesn't know the address and will tell me later or not

  • Wesj75

    87d

    It sounds like he doesn't want you. Sorry. Online relationships are hard to keep on. There's so much you don't know

    • Nico_tiredd

      78d

      I have a lot of anxiety and worry about this exact thing. However we talked on the phone the next day, and he explained that he also struggles with mental illnesses such as anxiety, insecurities, and ptsd so he worries he's not good enough for me. We are working on growing together and feeling better about ourselves before we get into a relationship

      • Wesj75

        78d

        that's a plus. It takes a lot for some people to admit to having mental issues. Time and patience is a good thing

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