It's fair that that's upsetting, and i REALLY get the feeling of "why can't i just be normal?" I felt that for a while now! But you gotta count your wins too, buddy! You may be forcing it down but you are trying! You may be getting that ache and feeling disgusting but hey! You did it! You're doing some good baby steps here! It's hard already to go through it, so try your best to find the good little parts of it, and if you didn't get told yet then I'll gladly tell you that you are doing a great job and I don't really need to know you to say I'm very proud of you for trying!

You are strong and courageous, it’s not easy taking these steps and this is a beautiful win. These feelings are valid, as it’s a big change- be gentle with yourself 💗 And being your nurse, I’m sure it’s ok to tell her the truth and she would understand- so you feel heard and not alone 💗 you deserve all the love In the world and more. What is normal these days- embrace the beauty that is YOU for you are perfect. ☀️💗🦄