Zoinks

108d

I didn't realize I was venting too often, and my friend had a breakdown over it. They've forgiven me for it, but how do you talk to someone who you've hurt unintentionally? I almost feel like avoiding them out of the fear that I'll hurt them again by accident. They should have told me it was bothering them, but I truly had no idea. They acted like everything was fine. And now our trust is broken.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Depression

View all
  • manicpixienightmare

    108d

    This is something I’m working on from both sides (not overwhelming people with venting AND not allowing people to overwhelm me) Ask for their permission before you vent next time. ❤️ Say something like “Hey I have something I really want to get off of my chest but I don’t want to overwhelm you. I was wondering if you have the time/energy to hear me vent for a minute - if not that’s okay too!” and/or ask them to communicate with you as soon as it’s becoming too much. Hearing people vent can take up a lot of emotional space and greatly affect their mood even if the situation has nothing to do with them at all. Feelings are very contagious! Lol. Also maybe try venting on paper before you go to a friend so you can release some of the intensity first before you “stress dump” on them. And don’t sweat the whole situation too much. If they forgave you and you guys are able to communicate with each other it should mend itself and worst come to worst and you guys fall off it’s a lesson for better friendships in the future ❤️❤️❤️ best of luck and lots of love

  • Zoinks

    108d

    I really appreciate this, thank you. The paper thing sounds like a good idea. 🤗💜 I'll try to communicate with them better, see if that fixes things.

  • NikkiMo

    104d

    Yes it's called trauma dumping and I too am very guilty of doing the same to people, I would say more so I do it alot to my mom 😒

    • Zoinks

      104d

      Same here. I'm trying to learn to save that for therapy.

  • Rizbit

    102d

    I've actually gotten to the point where I don't talk to anyone because I don't want to bother them.

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