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I have put myself into massive credit card debt with my shopping due to my bipolar. I'm terrified to let my mother know just how bad it is. One card (with late fees) is nearly $600. the other card (with late fees) is over $800. I'm never getting out of the hole that this and student loans have put me in. I hate being how I am. I hate myself for this. I hate how I am. I just want to be normal and not someone that takes out credit cards and blows their entire limit in one day and not be able to pay it back. I hate myself. Truly and deeply.
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Bipolar Disorder
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Just remember that credit cards are predatory in nature. I’m in a similar situation and I also feel a lot of shame. That I know better, but I have poor impulse control. But shame doesn’t change behavior - acceptance and process does. Due to my bipolar, adhd, and trauma I have severe social anxiety. I find myself throwing money I don’t have at products and solutions that make it so I interface with less people. Take a look at the content of your spending and what needs you’re trying to fulfill. Be gentle with yourself as your figuring it out. The majority of people in this country are in debt and that’s the systems fault, it’s barely yours. But it is your responsibility to cope, so be kind to yourself while coping. I’ve been looking for financial coaching resources for a while now. As scary as it is, an outside opinion may help you be objective. I’m also here for you stranger, if you ever want to compare notes without stigma.
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Depending on the hospital, they may have financial relief services. You may want to check on that.
I've been where you are, and it's scary, I know. I actually decided not to have any credit cards after I was in a similar situation when I was younger. To this day, I use my debit card and cash exclusively. We can live without credit cards. My credit score isn't great, and still to this day, I have unpaid debt, but honestly, there is more to life than money. It's a huge trigger for me, and it seems like it could be a trigger for you too. Acknowledging that is the first step and then planning accordingly is next. My mother was disappointed when I explained my debt situation to her, but she was supportive and helped me however she could, and that was a huge relief. Maybe give her a chance to show you she can be supportive and understanding too. Please try to give yourself some grace and look for some assistance with your debt management. It's out there. I wish you all the best on your journey.😁
@klazikel I forgot some debt I have with the hospital emergency room too! Idk if they are going to try and collect it as it has been over a year but there it is there. Then the credit cards. Then the over 40k in student loans. I am so far in debt I can't see a way out of it and I'm only 31. I don't think it I can give myself grace with all of this.
@Helvetiquette thank you. I just hate that I have put myself into more debt when I already had it with my student loans. I accepted I needed those but I didn't need the credit cards. Those were so dumb of me to get.
@SoxyWoxy well now you know how you feel about it. But give yourself a bit of a break - Existing is expensive right now, finding joy while existing is extra expensive, and feeling the need to find some sort of joy when your brain is short on joy chemicals is exhausting and we don’t make logical decisions in those moments. But you need the joy and at-least contentment to get right. It’s not something you deprive yourself of until you get out of the hole - it’s how you get out of the hole. I’m still learning this, after being doom and gloom about my own future and prospects for years. And if that’s the total in cc debt you have - you’re actually in a pretty decent place. I know it may not feel like it - but I know some people who pay about that monthly and feel less shame. Student Loans are also an equalizer in our generation. I only have 1 friend who has completely paid hers off. So please imagine that as your baseline - you’re in the trenches with everyone else. Everyone makes financial mistakes - a lot of us just pretend that we don’t, which makes it harder for the people struggling.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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