Struggling with My Feelings for a Guy and a Girl

Also this doesn’t make it any easier but don’t get into a relationship with the guy. Lying is not the basis of a good relationship. That won’t make your crush go away per say— I haven’t figured out a way to do that— but I think it’s still important to keep at the front of your mind. Maybe try spending less time with him? You said that your crush has been growing as you spend more time with him.

Hey! Lesbian here. I totally understand worrying about how your family will take it. Coming out was terrifying. You can do that in your own time, and you are not obligated to tell anyone you don’t want to. It can definitely be a struggle in terms of family that aren’t accepting. Mine personally found it a little weird at first but for the most part we’re worried about how much harder this would make my life (in terms of homophobia and safety and stuff). Unless your family has hard set political values or you think there would be problems telling them, they should come around eventually and be happy when you are happy that you found someone. They should still be proud of you. I’m proud of you. Despite being in such difficult circumstances you are still persevering. You will get through this. I promise. But yes, the iconic gay problem of falling for your best friend. Bed relatable. I had an intense crush on my best friend. The kicker was I knew that we would be totally incompatible in a relationship in literally every single way. Anyways, I went to college, found a girlfriend and we’ve been together for three and a half years! And we are getting married in May. You will find the one someday:)

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling that way. I have felt similarly before with crushes. Your feelings are totally understandable and quite normal. I have previously felt desperate with crushes, with this feeling almost like I have to make it work with them because it’s the only chance I have to fill the emptiness in me. I promise this is not the case. I understand from your other comments that you’ll see your therapist soon, this should help. It may be different for you, but for me it was important to fill this emptiness I felt with other things I valued as well (hobbies, spirituality, cultivating other friendships and familial relationships) as well as working on my own self worth. I would recommend having that be your focus in therapy. I found as I felt better about myself, my desperation for crushes and relationships lessened. As for your sexuality, it is okay to feel this way. 🤗 I hope you feel better ❤️