I fully understand that, and where I live it’s rainy and gloomy weather so that doesn’t help. Sometime I get to comfortable in the feeling of gray and I don’t even notice or admit it cause I don’t want to leave. I’m really glad that you assessed your struggle, that’s the first step to feeling better. I’m going through the same thing right now, it comes in waves for me but one thing that helps me a lot is music (it’s probably the one thing that makes me feel anything at all) it used to not really have an effect on me but I put it on anyway cause your subconscious is always there and music helped my subconscious and so does your environment, plants really helped to make me feel like I have a duty to fulfill and there pretty. Also as weird as it sounds body temperature, I realized I like feeling cold rather than a regular temperature cause it makes me feel something and gives me goosebumps. It helps to find things to tune your subconscious with like a clean room. And things that change or grow so everyday doesn’t feel like the same. This is just my experience but I hope it helps even just a little!!