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Mysteria

540d

So I need advice. I’ve been seeing a new therapist for like three months- last session she made a kinda rude comment that rubbed me the wrong way but I just moved past it. So we have been doing emdr therapy for my ptsd- it has honestly not been helping me. It’s been making me very anxious and upset and irritable. I know this is supposed to be normal- but I’ve gotten to a point in my healing journey where I’ve learned to pay attention to the present moment- and doing emdr brings me back and makes me feel very bad. So I’ve already been second guessing just doing emdr in general- but this last session felt like my therapist was being really really bad. So she knows all my triggers as we discussed them in length when we first met for therapy- she even had my give her a written list of them. One of my major triggers is around romantic relationships. I have been in abusive relationships so whenever I’m in a relationship I’m super duper worried it’s going to randomly turn abusive. I’ve been with my current partner for 3 years, and we have been friends for 10 years. Overall, he is incredibly kind and compassionate to me. He makes me breakfast every morning and holds me when I’m having flashbacks. He has been there for me through everything and is one of the only people I feel safe around. The thing is like once every three months or so he will have a day where he is in a bad mood. During those days he will sometimes snap at me (not yell, he never raises his voice) but just like get irritated. Because I have ptsd this typically makes me have a panic attack. He is always super duper apologetic afterwards. I recognize this as an unhealthy pattern in communication so I told my therapist about it. My therapist looked at me and told me, problems in relationships like this only get exponentially worse. And told me how couples who get divorced know that they are choosing the wrong partner when they get married and I need to keep an eye out I need you to understand that this is the first every time I have opened up about there being even one negative thing in our relationship- the only other context she has is that I told her that he is an amazing partner and that’s it. My opening up to her about us having a small disagreement was me being incredibly vunerablr and she knew this because she knows all my triggers So of course I get really anxious and start crying- and she decides to be like “oh did what I say piss you off? Okay we’re going to do an emdr about this” and then while I’m in a triggered state tried to emdr about my past abusive relationships. I left the session a total wreck Should I stop seeing her? This felt very intentional and really really fucked up. I’m going to be so anxious for months now. All I can think about is what she said- and what if the only person I trust suddenly becomes abusive

Top reply
    • Mysteria

      540d

      @Mysteria CBT* sorry autocorrect

    • kittycrime

      540d

      Doing EMDR when you're in a triggered state is definitely a huge red flag. And one of the first sessions an EMDR therapist should do with you is your safe space, so if you do get overwhelmed of triggered, they can guide you back to safer emotions. I would definitely look for a new therapist, and I'm truly sorry you had this experience. Sending support 💙

    • Ezra02

      540d

      That is beyond messed up imo. Trauma therapy is a place where you should be able to be safe and given space to calm down and work through trauma at your own pace, not push through it. You don’t deserve that kind of experience, especially how she handled it. I would definitely not go back to that. I am doing trauma therapy via telehealth and it gives me the chance to be in my own space while talking about vulnerable things. I also understand the struggle of wondering if it’s worth it. A lot is being opened up about me that feels beyond overwhelming. It’s like opening an old wound and I hate it quite frankly. I don’t know how old you are but I’d easily say if your significant other and you are getting along well and it feels right, stick with it. I have trauma from past relationships and it’s hard on me. My girlfriend understands my triggers and how to guide me through my panic attacks. She gives me options so I can just nod or use ASL (which we both know some basics). If you have someone who cares as much as your s/o does, that’s a good thing. My girlfriend and I hardly argue at all but there is the occasional irritation when one of us is struggling with our own things. That’s normal. That’s okay. We always communicate afterwards. We are people and all people have their own kinds of flaws. Overall, I’d say to try to look maybe for a different therapist or simply take time off from it all and see where you’re at and what you want to do. This is about your journey and your emotions. Your feelings are valid and I wish you nothing but the best of luck and I hope things work out /gen

      • Mysteria

        540d

        @Ezra02 thank you, your comment really helped me. I don’t think I want to take a break from therapy all together- but I might move to a different kind of therapy. This therapy was already making me feel worse after the sessions, but this last session actually set me back a lot on my healing journey. I’m only 21 so I’m still young and figuring it all out- but I just know this isn’t working.

    • fleurdemeraude

      540d

      Whoa. That makes me feel icky, that she saw you were upset and wanted to use EMDR to assuage you, so to speak. Also from what you wrote she didn’t ask you if you wanted to do that, and just decided to do EMDR. i have tried that therapy before too and am not a fan either so I hear ya. Do you find other Benefits and strategies seeing her? If yes, it may be worth addressing it with her. You’re paying her for services, and She’s supposed to help You ❤️ perhaps writing out an email or letter to her. If you’re uncomfortable though, you 100% don’t owe her an explanation and can switch providers. One provider put me on a med that made me pass out due to low blood pressure (already in my chart) and had to go to the ER. I never saw him again and switched psychiatrists. Hope this helps ❤️

      • Mysteria

        540d

        @fleurdemeraude so our first two sessions were more CBD based and she did teach me some good coping skills, it was once we moved into emdr that the sessions became really distressing for me. I would be so anxious just to go into therapy- and I would go from being in a really happy and good mood to bring a wreck afterwards. I don’t think I want to stay with this therapist- I’ve been on my own whole spiritual journey too- and learning about living in the present moment and it’s helped me so much more than years of therapy- so when I go to this therapy appointment I’m forced to throw that mindset out the window. I don’t think I even want to go into her office again because of that experience.

        • Mysteria

          540d

          @Mysteria CBT* sorry autocorrect

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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