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sospuddles

719d

I received my autism diagnosis about 2 months ago, and since then I have had friends telling me that they also feel like they are autistic. When I first got diagnosed, I felt such relief because I feel like so much of the aloneness I felt and negative feedback from those same friends made sense and wasn’t my fault. It made my distance with my friends not as painful. But now, those friends are saying they also probably have autism and I’m confused. I’m so empathetic and go above and beyond for my friends to know that I care for them. Why don’t they do the same for me? Why don’t they acknowledge my autism? Why do they mock and criticize the things I do? And then go on to say that THEY have autism? Receiving my diagnosis made my relationships make sense and allowed me to forgive myself. But now I feel even more alone and confused in my diagnosis. 😔 Am I being selfish?

Top reply
    • Charis

      711d

      @Charis By the way, I am single, but I am not currently looking to date. Just putting this out there since my one statement is odd sounding.

    • Charis

      711d

      You are not being selfish. On the Autism Spectrum, it is hard to know the limits of helping others and taking a step back. I am only learning to set those limits for myself so that I don't give too much emotionally away that should only be for my husband wherever he is at. I can't speak for your friends, but be honest with them. Be honest and don't bottle it up. Set limits. By asking this question, you are not being selfish.

      • Charis

        711d

        @Charis By the way, I am single, but I am not currently looking to date. Just putting this out there since my one statement is odd sounding.

    • Hawkye

      718d

      It makes me wonder if they picked on you because of their own insecurities. Autism is a huge and widely misunderstood spectrum and it's possible they're wrestling with their own issues. That being said, you are NOT being selfish. You were treated poorly, and there's no excuse for that. To have them go on to then claim to be the very thing they mocked you for is no doubt frustrating to say the least.

    • SunInAugust

      718d

      I was diagnosed about a month and a half ago and have had several of my friends tell me they are autistic, too. Its an odd thing to hear when they seem so different than me and don't seem to be affected or bothered, or are bothered by my autistic traits or downplay my autistic traits. I understand. Its an odd place to be

    • raven2814

      719d

      No

    • SAJE

      719d

      Follow @neurodivergent_insights on IG, and #ActuallyAutistic on Twitter

    • TattooedHuman

      719d

      That is definitely not selfish. Your friends should accept you and your diagnosis without trying to downplay it or mock you like they have it. Have you tried talking to these friends to see if they would explain their thoughts on why they feel that way? Maybe have a heart to heart with them??

    • Ooblia

      719d

      They see you, they may see themselves in you, and need to be looking deeper within themselves. Thank you for posting because I am going through something HELLA similar and I didn’t know what language to use to express myself

      • sospuddles

        719d

        @Ooblia Ooblia, you have me crying! I was feeling so much shame about it. It’s so relieving to know that I’m not alone in this experience.

        • Ooblia

          719d

          @sospuddles Make sure to be gentle with yourself. What “gentle” is, is up to you.

    • maavsire

      719d

      its not selfish to want your friends to acknowledge your struggles and accept you for who you are. id be upset and confused too if the friends i had were hypercritical of me and my autism, and then turn around and say they might be autistic too. its invalidating.

      • sospuddles

        719d

        @maavsire thank you so much for saying that 😮‍💨😢💛

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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