Cvprisun

142d

am i a bad person for not wanting kids due to my mental illness? I can’t even take care of myself, i would feel awful bringing someone else into the world when i can’t even afford my own place, or handle myself.

Depression

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  • Lew_Bear

    142d

    Not at all. I’d actually say it’s mature to know if you aren’t cut out for it and more of a selfless act to decide not to than a bad thing. Illness has made me question whether or not I could handle kids as well - you’re not alone

  • AwkwardMoth

    142d

    That's absolutely fine and in fact I think you're a better person for realizing you may not be able to care for a child properly. I'd rather never have kids than put them through hell because I cannot care for them due to my mental illnesses, like many parents do. And who knows, you may change your mind one day when you are stronger and have healed. Best of luck, stay strong!!

  • Lucas.exe

    142d

    Heck no! Thanks for being mature about it. I know I will be an awful parent so I dont want kids. Simple as that. Dont listen to societal standards of parenthood its dumb

    • Lew_Bear

      141d

      totally agree! Honestly, there are already way too many people on this planet anyways

  • Cheylo

    142d

    You don't even have to use your mental illness as an excuse for not having kids. No one HAS to bring spawn into this world. And if you just feel like you don't want to have the responsibility and you'd just rather figure life out on your own time then you do that!! And maybe 10 years down the line you'll decide you want kids. That's cool too. I've struggled with this idea for a long time now that I'm married and I'm starting a life with my husband. But even though the normal flow is finish highschool, go to college, meet a partner, get a job, get married, have kids. Who says you have to follow the same path? Don't let anyone shame you for deciding not to have kids for whatever reason it may be you're allowed to make that decision. I'm mid 20s and my husband and I have decided not to have kids. The in laws are upset about it but we want to live selfishly, if we want to go on a spontaneous trip for the weekend it will be much easier without a child. And I don't want to have kids so "I'll have someone to take care of me when I'm older" that's not a good reason to have offspring. And I do feel guilty when it comes to the in laws but at the end of the day they aren't going to raise them so I'm not going to have a child for the sake of someone else's happiness. And they still will get grandchildren from the other siblings. And I may change my mind in like 5 years or maybe I won't. But for whatever reason don't feel guilty for making a decision that you have every right to make.

    • Cvprisun

      141d

      this made me feel so much better. thank you so much

  • mskittyx

    142d

    I really relate to this, and I don’t think this makes you a bad person. In fact I think it makes you kind and brave. I have a long history of severe mental illness on my dads side of the family. It’s definitely one of the contributing factors of my choice to not have children.

  • Cece7

    142d

    You don’t need anything to justify your reason for not wanting kids. It may be in your specific case due to mental illness, however, if someone just simply doesn’t want to have a kid there’s no reason they should feel any guilt over that choice. If others have issue with it, that is their problem, not yours. They need to get over it and accept that you don’t want to have the same life as they do. What you are doing makes complete sense and you can do whatever you feel is right. You can change your mind at any time and it’s no one’s business what you want to do with your life.

    • Cvprisun

      141d

      thank you so much. i just feel bad because my mom is married to my stepdad and he always wanted kids but he didn’t get to have any, and if i don’t have a kid he’ll never have a grandkid ya know? i just feel guilty i guess

      • Cece7

        141d

        I can understand that! Just remind yourself that you don’t need to take responsibility for the emotions that others are feeling because of your personal choices. This is your life to live, not theirs. I’m sure they would rather you be happy than to have a grandchild. At least that is how I would hope they would feel!

  • PopPenguin

    142d

    I totally feel that. Its why I know I won't want kids unless I feel better mentally. I think its possible one day to feel like I might be ready to care for another human.

  • Mad.Hatter

    141d

    You are ABSOLUTELY NOT 🚫 A BAD PERSON. You're actually a very kind and considerate person. Knowing yourself and your boundaries and not putting an innocent child into that mix is completely logical and should be complemented.

  • moodybitch

    141d

    you're not a bad person for this. I can barely handle myself and I don't want my children to see that nor live like that. and I'm terrified of passing on bipolar disorder. I don't want there to be a chance that my child has to suffer like I do. ive received a lot of back lash for that though...

  • YanyLaurel

    141d

    Not a bad person at all

  • kittybee

    141d

    I'm pregnant right now and neither one of us have the mental health to do this. Idk what we were thinking. I feel awful for the baby. You're doing the right thing

    • Cvprisun

      141d

      you’re gonna do an amazing job. 🫶

  • Call_Me_Liv

    141d

    No, I actually feel the same way. My current boyfriend grew up with a mother who shit herself away and wasn't involved in his life even though she lived in his house. He wants kids in the future but I really don't. I'm afraid of giving them what he had growing up.

  • Alpine

    141d

    You don't need to have kids to have a satisfying & complete life

  • MoonCrystal91

    141d

    Why would that make you a bad person? There are no laws stating women must bear and raise children. It's your decision dont ever think you are a bad person because of that!

  • mtngoat

    141d

    You don't need any excuses for not wanting kids! It's a personal choice, nothing more

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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