Struggling with Eating Habits and Chronic Pain

TW: calories, weight gain & numbers mentioned For context, I have chronic pain) I hate when I talk to my mom about my pain she always brings up that I’m constantly exercising and that I shouldn’t. The only reason I exercise so vigorously is when I “binge” then I “purge” by exercising (idk if that’s a thing or not, I only see purging used in reference to self-induced vomiting) and when I bring up these things to my doctor, my mom brings it up again. Though if I say why, I’d get even more medical attention and I don’t want that. I’m so stressed. I don’t even know if I have an eating disorder. Some days I can eat and ignore them, other days I overeat and then over exercise, other times I straight out starve. Not to mention that I went on a trip and was forced to eat normally, wear a bathing suit and then to come back 19 lbs heavier all in a weeks worth of eating regularly. I’m so scared and stressed but I can’t tell anyone, no one seems to notice.