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Anyone know what emotional domenstic abuse actually is? Like how could I tell if itās a think or if Iām just manipulated by my counselor into even considering it. Whatās wrong with me....Iām alder and want to have a family this is my only chance I know that but at he same time I feel so alone, I donāt know what to believe. And then what is spiritual abuse exactly? I mean heās never laid a hand on me so whatās wrong with me? Anyone experience this, know the difference of all of this, and what my options are in either situation? I feel like I sound crazy...he only is mad when things are difficult and I donāt do things how he wants exactly but I should be having an easier time in life. Whatās wrong with me.........I donāt know. Any advice helps I guess. Iām just really depressed and I wish I could snap out of it instead of talking to him about it and him getting angry....idk what Iām supposed to do. At all.....
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I have been in an emotional abusive relationship. You can message me if you need any direct/specific examples or advice. š¤ It didnāt seem emotionally abusive at the time, but when we started to drift a part I felt like I was seeing things from the outside and it validated things.
Without him I canāt become a mom. He holds this over my head and Iām getting older and older and have conditions that run in the family that her higher higher likely hoods the longer I wait and thatās what he hangs over my head
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Take back control of your life! You got this!
Yes you fucking can!
But he keeps being up I use to be a drug addict so think about all the money spent there so I canāt complain
Iām already in the negatives Bc of his charges
I donāt have pets....I donāt have anyone
Get out as soon as you can. Call the banks. Stop your cards. You've got this! You are strong!!!
Also, I packed all my shit without him knowing while he was gone on a "boys trip". That made it a lot easier to leave. Oh and if you have an animal(s), take them too! They'll start you with a pillar of unconditional love that you need.
I relate to the control of money, bank accounts, all my cards, using my credit for things since he destroyed his credits and able to access every account I have so far this is the only one he doesnāt access and Iām worried that will change one day...
I will accept that. I know how cyclical apologies can get. Even still, I feel terrible about not paying better attention. That I will take ownership of. I genuinely do wish the best for you in all that you do. Even though I don't know you I feel your pain. I think I jumped the gun because I was actually 100% on your side and thought I was getting at a "troller"(oopsš¤¢). I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for years. I started as a very strong and independent person and he wittled me down into someone I didn't recognize. He would make everything feel like my fault and that it was a privilege to be with him. He was in charge of every decision we made and controlled all our money. We bought a house together in HIS name. So, his credit and equity was built up. When I decided to leave I got nothing. No equity, no established credit, nothing to show at all. It was worth losing every penny though! I am 2 years out of that relationship and feel so free. My advice (if you'll have it now that I've made a fool of myself) is get the hell out of there! You'll find someone who'll love you with ACTUAL love and not whatever he's pretending at. Just know it takes time. I'm still on a journey to rebuilding myself and love for who I am. I havent dated anyone since but I've got better standards for myself now. One red flag is thrown out and I'm outta there! It's so worth it for yourself. I'm sending all my love your way! šš Positivity
I wish you didnāt report your own comment there was nothing to respond. You corrected whatever you felt you need to in the next comment. Donāt over apologize you are fine and a sweet soul. Please donāt start over apologizing like I do Bc itās hard to stop once u start
No itās okay...because I need to be more positive in response to peopleās kindness and donāt know how. Maybe I need to be more thoughtful and not jay be attention seeking which maybe Iām doing without realizing. Itās a bitter pill to swallow but one I need to so maybe it was a mistake that was meant to be. Donāt apologize you never have to. If anyone needs to is me and I am sorry. Thank you all I slid including yourself for your kindness. You donāt have to spend your time responding here but you all do. Thank you.
I reported my own commentš„
I am absolutely 100% sorry. I misread that and I thought someone else was correcting your original post but it was you. I am so very very sorry. I have no idea how to delete that comment.
Iāll keep that in mind. Thank you.
@Knelle199 I think this is a safe space for people to express their hurt, joy or concerns, not to be corrected. Also, a good way to continue is by leaving helpful comments. People seek attention in different ways and it would be a much better feeling for you if the attention you received was positive. It goes back to the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I really wish you well in your self-care journey and hope you can find peace within yourself as well.
No I need to learn...but thank you all for your kindness still. I have to learn to stop saying too much much I keep doing that and making it look worse than it is Iāve been through worse whatās wrong with me
You donāt need to stop if you donāt want to. You have every right to express your thoughts and feelings. You have every right to not censor yourself because youāre not in a good place mentally right now. And you have every right to not be alone.
I wish I didnāt upset people or trigger them Iām sorry Iām just sorry. Iām so sorry idk how to not apologize. Iām sorry
No I need to because I canāt stop being depressing all the time and keeping my mouth shut Iām sorry
Your well being is a big deal. You have nothing to be sorry for. Everyone replying back to your post understands and are replying because we want to support you. You do not need to apologize for asking for help.
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I feel like I just depress people when I talk about this. I am sorry to anyone I have depressed. Itās nit s big deal Iām sorry. I really am sorry
I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship. He was financially abusive as well. All forms of abuse are valid and real. It is not only physical and rarely starts as physical. A question my therapist asked me that stuck with me was this. If they treated you the way they are treating you now on the first date would you have continued to see them? If the answer is no itās time to leave. Abusers rope us in and gradually break us down until they end up with control over us and us blaming ourselves for their mistreatment of us. Breaking that cycle was the hardest thing I ever did and healing is not a linear path. But leaving was the best decision I could have made. If you ever want to talk dm me any time.
I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship as well, when I was in it I thought the same as you. I thought well he loves me heās never hit me but there are key signs that I look back on now. Like for me I never wanted to make my ex angry, or like I would avoid talking about certain things because I know I would get a negative reaction. It took me being by myself without him to realize that it is a form of abuse. I donāt know you or the extent of the situation but you deserve someone whoās not going to make you feel like this. I was in a relationship with someone like that for almost 3 years and it takes a lot out of you. If you ever want to talk about it more in depth Iām here I know exactly what youāre feeling.
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Older* the same time*
Domestic*
ā This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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