Coping with PTSD flashbacks after domestic violence

I have similar problems. My mother, who was my main abuser, passed away 11 years ago this past November, and it was emotional and physical abuse. I started doing emdr, which does help with triggers, but stopped due to not having health insurance for part of this year. Due to my profession I encounter a lot of triggers, which makes what I love doing difficult. Here are my tips, I hope it helps. 1. Emdr- definitely look into it; butterfly hugs have really helped me as well as the ground yourself (basically, take off your shoes and feel the ground) 2. If you are having a panic attack due to triggers then name things. For instance, what street did you grow up on? What color was your room? What color socks are you wearing? What is your favorite food? It doesn't exactly matter what you name off, mainly it is just getting you to think. I know some people do math problems. 3. Understand that you are safe. Your abuser can no longer hurt you. You are in control. I get easily overwhelmed, so I put a reminder for myself on my skin (yes, I got tattooed in a highly visible location just for this purpose). I have a blank 20 sided die on my hand just to remind me that not taking an action is an action. You can hold your action until it is needed, and that is okay. 4. The time of year your abuser died is going to be a struggle. Every November I get incredibly depressed and am more easily triggered, and I've had to learn that that is okay. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be mad. It's okay that it is complicated. Losing a parent, even when they were highly abusive, is hard on you. I let myself feel those things without ripping myself to shreds about it. Yes my mom was abusive and said it was good to beat her children, but it is okay to miss her. It sucks and I tell REALLY awful dark humor and disassociate frequently, but I am safe and it is okay to miss something I never had (namely a parent who loved me). 5. Medication. Be careful not to self medicate. Schedule yourself with your therapist and psychiatrist this month if you have one. Maybe shoot for weekly with your therapist. I do believe in medication, it does help me, but everyone is different. I hope this helps, and know my messages are always open!