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Artsy64

483d

I have been debating this for years. I’ve talked to friends about it and they all say different things. I just want to know the answer. TW!!!!! Sexual assault. Back my freshman year of college, I was very free and open about dating and having sex. I had been talking to this guy for about a week. We agreed to go to his house one night. He picked me up and we went to dinner, then watched a movie at his place. Now back before we even met, we had both consensually agreed to having sex, twice since I had never done it twice before. Fast forward to after the movie. I had fallen asleep. It was my first semester at college and it was tiring. We go to his room. I don’t want to have sex anymore. I didn’t say no. I didn’t try to stop it. I fell asleep again afterward. When I woke up he was mad that I fell asleep instead of having sex twice. He drove me back to school, and was completely hostile to me the entire time. After a week of hot showers and scrubbing my skin raw with a loofah, I still felt dirty. My question is, was I raped? Even though I didn’t say yes and didn’t deter it from happening.

    • coder87

      483d

      Maybe I'm missing something. You consented and then had sex with him the first time, correct? Then he was just mad that you didn't have sex again later? Did he actually do anything without consent?

      • Artsy64

        483d

        @coder87 i consented like a week before we even met in person. I never said yes or no that day and I just went with it. I didn’t want to. But I did because I said I would.

        • MM3F

          482d

          @Artsy64 - I understand this maybe be hard for you but when you look at this scenario through his eyes, if you messaged him to tell him your up for it, made the conscious decision to go around because you felt bad you had already agreed to it, all the while not disclosing anything to him. How was he supposed to know you didn't want it? If you had given off any form of vibe that said you didn't want it and he pushed you to "because you said you would" that's rape. Waking up the next morning complaining you didn't do it twice is him being a douche but unless you gave any indication that you didn't want it, I see no wrong here. Everyone is very quick to judge a male in this scenario but until you have all the facts you can't make an educated decision.

    • suhd00d

      483d

      If you weren't all for it, it's rape. You can say yes and change your mind if it's too much, and if they continue it's rape. Anything non consensual is rape. I'm sorry love ❤️ I share your story all too well from my addiction with countless men. But there is power in realizing what you've been through and what you will never endure again. Shame on him.

    • dandelion_flower

      483d

      Yes. Even if you already said yes, you didn't actually want to at the time which makes it very much rape.

    • Twilightmoon

      483d

      Regardless of if you said you are interested in sex in previous conversations, you did not say yes at the moment. So, yes that is rape. You might not have said no, but you never actually agreed.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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