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Struggling to Connect with Friends

MatchaBunn

579d

How often do you talk to your friends? I feel like an outlier because I don’t know how to come up with ways to talk to my friends. Usually I like group chats, or some sort of social media so I can share with a lot of people at once. But it doesn’t have the same feelings of connection as having a conversation. How do you balance time with others and time with yourself? I feel so burnt out from daily tasks, work, and just living, that I often have very little to give to anything after work. Does it help to have a specific schedule to reach out to others? I’d love to hear everyone else’s experiences.

2

8

8

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Attention-Deficit Disorder

Depression

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Top reply
    • gummybearit

      576d

      @MatchaBunn it is okay, I do feel an immense loneliness when I meet new people bc often they pickup that I'm "off" and then distance from me. Making new friends, keeping old ones and walking away from toxic people is a whole mess. I just try to reach out and communicate clearly. When I'm feeling anxious about my actions I tell most people I'm around now, and the good ones make sure they clarify they don't take offense. Finding those people is hard, stay strong, be yourself and people will find you.

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    • anubisplane

      579d

      I struggle so much to reach out to friends. I typically respond when friends message, but it's typically delayed....sometimes by a few days.

      1

      Reply
      • MatchaBunn

        579d

        @anubisplane that’s definitely what I do to! I’m pretty good at responding to people eventually if I’m not too overwhelmed, but sometimes I worry that I’m not making enough effort to initiate. I guess that’s just me being harder on myself than I deserve, because we can’t always help what we have the capacity for.

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        • anubisplane

          579d

          @MatchaBunn my (online) friends are similar to me in their struggles, so they do understand the disconnect. But I know just once ore twice reaching out first makes a big difference in our relationships. I've started messaging people when I think of them, even if it's at an "inappropriate" time (during a meeting, middle of the night, on a plane where it'll send when I land). And then I've gotten used to having a full conversation over the course of a week or more.

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    • Freia

      579d

      i struggle with this too, after the pandemic my social anxiety had gotten a lot worse because i spent less time talking to people face to face, and now i find it hard to hold a conversation with people and even old friends, i wish i could say i have some advice but i’m going through the same thing right now

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      • MatchaBunn

        579d

        @Freia thank you for sharing your experience! I agree that the pandemic has smashed a lot of the polite conversation masking I used to do, too. But I’m trying to be okay with being quiet sometimes and creating that space to share when I’m able. We can figure out what works best for us, and we’re capable of re-learning how to converse in a satisfying way!

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    • gummybearit

      579d

      My good friends share this with me, they call or I call and we info dump. Hours long convos after months of not talking. This is okay, but I still want to communicate more often as well. More recently I have been reaching out with life updates but I think that comes off as bragging or complaining when that's the only time.

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      • MatchaBunn

        579d

        @gummybearit I’ve felt like me sharing updates comes off as bragging, too! But when other people do it, I don’t think that way about them. Honestly, more often than not, I feel like all I have to update with is complaints or health issues. You did remind me to value the long talks and catching up after months with friends, because I can have those. I do just wish it was more often, too, but not everyone can keep up with that and that’s okay.

        1

        Reply
        • gummybearit

          576d

          @MatchaBunn it is okay, I do feel an immense loneliness when I meet new people bc often they pickup that I'm "off" and then distance from me. Making new friends, keeping old ones and walking away from toxic people is a whole mess. I just try to reach out and communicate clearly. When I'm feeling anxious about my actions I tell most people I'm around now, and the good ones make sure they clarify they don't take offense. Finding those people is hard, stay strong, be yourself and people will find you.

          2

          Reply

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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