Feeling like a burden and giving up on myself

I don’t know how much longer I can do this shit. I feel like I’m self destructing. I feel like a burden to everyone in my life. I feel like I’ll never have someone truly fall in love with me for me.. and that my mother, older sister and brother in law, won’t see me and love unconditionally. I’m giving up on them, and I’m close to giving up on myself. I don’t want to say this to anyone I know because I’m scared of going back to the hospital… I don’t want to wake up tomorrow…