Living with Chronic Illness: MS Diagnosis and Intrusive Thoughts

Hey I’ve had chronic illness (epilepsy) since I was one. I’m 27 now and I was just diagnosed with MS. While yes I’m falling some and I just had an ms attack the past week, AIP is helping and I’m finishing up infusions for the attack. Everyone tells me “see this is what I like about you, you can laugh at things and be fine with it” and I said “I tell people that the situation isn’t fine, but that emotionally I’m fine.” First question: is that at all sane? I mean I was upset for like a week when I heard the diagnosis but it’s been a month now and I’m like “yeah. At least I finally have a name for why my legs are wobbly.” Second question: why do people try to convince me that I’m not fine? My parents who I live with ask “how you feeling today?” I say “fine” and neither of them have chronic illness so they’re like “no symptoms at all??” And I’m sitting there thinking, “I said I was fine not that a miracle happened”. But instead of saying that i say “that’s not what I meant” and I go through an assessment of my body with them and they are like “that’s not fine”. Lastly: Does anyone else have intrusive thoughts when others are just trying to help? Whenever I visit the hospital they ask if I want a wheelchair and I say no. Even though sometimes i really should use a wheelchair. The only time they made me was when they thought I was gonna fall while walking after an LP. During the MS Attack I was at my boyfriends and he was a sweetie and was getting me things and helping me up and walk. But at the same time my brain was like “this is where it’s gonna go. You’re gonna be an invalid.” Even though I KNOW that’s not true because so much treatment has developed for MS. Does anyone else go through any of this? And can we talk about it? Because it’s a lot.