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(Disordered eating talk ahead) Also longposting ahead because this was earth shattering for me and maybe someone else can get something out of it I was the kind of kid to show up at Warped Tour. IYKYK. At that time, there was this focus on how cruel the meat industry is, when celebs in fur were getting splashed with paint in public, PETA was VERY active at events where teenagers were gathered. I was 14 when I decided “meat is murder” and dropped most of it from my diet. As an adult, I recognize that what PETA was doing was unethical and honestly horrible. I was definitely aware of that for longer than I wasn’t, but I didn’t change my diet back because I didn’t miss it. When I went back to college in my mid 20s, I was broke and my diet was expensive. I was considering adding meat back in, but just thinking about it made me feel guilt so intense it made me nauseous. I couldn’t deal with that stress on top of school so I left the issue alone and graduated a couple years later, having still ignored it. I promised my partner years ago that I would go back to meat once I’m pregnant. We aren’t trying yet, but I’ll be 30 in a few weeks. I can’t keep running from this change. The guilt made me worried that I might have developed an ED and I had no idea how I was going to address that. This year I found out that I’m autistic and my psych ARNP pointed out that I was describing OCD compulsions to her. It makes sense now. I don’t have a lot of rituals/compulsions because most of that energy is channeled into policing my eating habits. 🤯 So!! I’ve decided I’m going to slowly go back to eating meat, but I’m in absolutely no hurry. It’s not stressful and I’m not wracked with guilt anymore. It’s nuts how this thing that took over my life, had its teeth and claws in me for so long… feels like only a matter of time before it disappears. F/ck PETA I’m so happy to be free. 🥰
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Eating Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
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