Monsignor

109d

i honestly don’t like to post on anything but i could use some advice from anyone.
very long post ahead.

i’m currently “employed” as a scare actor and i don’t really like it that much but a bit of background on me is that i have severe and horrid social anxiety, i’m also a total introvert. i don’t scream, yell or even shout; i’m an extremely quiet person.

backstory stuff;
training started earlier this month and I already felt out of place to the point where I was asking my mom to take me home but i was told i have to “give every thing a chance” which i did not cause i wanted to but cause i had to, it was okay at first and i enjoyed just sitting by myself and doing my own thing. about 35-50 minutes in it was time to start like scare acting to see what it would be like and i was already on edge from not knowing anyone and others knowing others from previous years or just being friends. we’re separated into groups and are taken to different locations in order to get a feel of what it was going to be like, i was put in the middle of the exit which i hated as people walked through i just stood there not knowing what to do and feeling extremely overwhelmed by the entire thing so we ended up walking through other attractions 4-5 times the first night and then last week it was the same thing, come to training; get in groups; go act which is fine but again I was put somewhere awkward. i got over whelmed to the part where i almost started to cry since i was being told to do different things that i knew i was incapable of doing because i’m not loud so i was sent to a new attraction which it was okay i felt stupid but i was moved to one part which i kinda liked. we were put into groups again after a meeting and had to walk through or act, once again i was put in the awkward spot of acting which i don’t like at all especially in confined spaces. after the first groups of people went through i stepped out and walked with an actor leader which was fine, i was glad to have gotten away from the attraction.
the main part i’m dreading is opening night since i’m not as experienced or loud like everyone else i have a feeling it may put a full sense of panic into me and i won’t be able to do anything.
i don’t really know what to do or what to say to help my situation. on one hand i want to stay to help my social anxiety and on the other i just feel like i’m doing too much. i’m so overwhelmed and stressed out i can’t sleep anymore, i really could just use anyones help or advice.

Social Anxiety

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

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  • squibibi

    108d

    yeah this is way too much. this is less improving your social anxiety and more straight up triggering yourself for a few hours every time you act. if you feel kinda comfortable with one of your coworkers, I would suggest explaining your situation to them first, and then asking them to accompany you when you have to explain things to your boss

  • darkstarrynight

    108d

    Remember to take deep breaths, if that helps, and after the performance/performances, you should think about quitting this job, cause it sounds way too stressful.

  • EatenByWormy

    108d

    If you’re having issues with meeting your basic needs (sleep!!) it’s definitely time to dip. Exposure therapy is something that really requires someone qualified to walk you through it and help you manage, this sounds like it was too much for you at this point in your journey and that’s okay!

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