Struggling with Anxiety and Obsessive Thoughts in Relationships

I fear that I’ll never experience a healthy relationship because of my disorder(s). I have very bad anxious attachments - which accompanied by autism (and possible ocd) makes it that much harder to create a healthy balance between life and a relationship. I become so obsessed with whoever I am interested in - even if its just a crush. I want to know everything about them… and get irrationally upset when I can’t. This obsession lasts longer than your typical “honeymoon phase”… my last relationship I thought about nothing but him for almost 2 years. I tend to overthink every single word they say or things they do and spend hours analyzing the situation: did I do something wrong? How can I fix it? Do they like me, do they hate me? Etc. It feels like regardless of how much effort the other person puts in I’m ALWAYS going to put in more - and it’s not good. I recognize this is unhealthy behavior- and I never take it out on anyone, I don’t even talk about it. But instead I just let the anxiety build up inside me and I’m constantly at war with myself. I don’t know what to do about it. Love is a very important aspect of my life… I would really like to have a partner who I can have a stable, balanced relationship with where they aren’t the only thing I think of - but I’m so afraid that will never happen.