Struggling to Reconnect with Old Hobbies

Even though I know I can technically do whatever I want. There’s this weird shame/internalized bullying (based on what people have said to me) of going to back to my old interests. It’s like there’s a 2nd voice in my head always criticizing me and won’t let me be in peace. Or I can do my old favorite hobbies but feel guilt and shame for some reason. It’s like I’m stubborn for all the wrong reasons but don’t want to be. It’s a lot of effort and mental pain which I usually avoid. I’ve kinda lost interest in anything that previously made me happy and I want to overcome it.