Vyowleta

171d

Hey guys I need your advice.

Recently, I’ve decided to cut contact with a close friend for toxic reasons from both sides.

(Warning: extremely long rant sorry)

[ Some context if needed: ]
Let’s just say that him and I’s friendship got toxic because it involved issues of our codependency and my resentment. Him and I pretty much relied each other to co-exist in order to stay happy, and that act alone is an unhealthy trait to have in a friendship. And as for my resentment, it was the “hot and cold behavior” that he displayed as the friendship progressed. Like the more he got closer to me, the more he also grew uninterested as well as distant with me. Even though him and I promised that he would spend more time with me over the summer. We had so much plans to work on, but when summer came around, he also put no effort into the friendship as well as in being engaged in conversations like he used to.

I brought up this issue and he claimed that there was no distance to begin with even though he clearly talked to me less. This resulted into a heated argument between him and I as I was afraid to lose him since he’s one of my closest friends. But after the argument I realized that I can’t expect him to tend to me 24/7, I needed to work on myself.

So I decided to spend more time with myself instead of trying to put more effort into the friendship when the distance grew inevitable. I began exercising and doing art. Just distracting myself by doing the things I enjoy, while at the same time, keeping my distance from him.

It wasn’t until I stopped starting conversations with him and putting my effort to keep the friendship alive is when he finally saw distance between us. This is where my resentment formed and with that, it resulted to another argument.

Eventually, I agreed that taking a break from the friendship is best for both of our mental healths because it shouldn’t feel like some emotional roller coaster. And especially because he also used to rely on me just as much as I used to with him, showed me why the friendship wouldn’t work out either way.

It’s been over a month now and when I decided to cut contact with him. There were times where he’d reach out to me on other social media platforms asking if him and I could talk it out, or that he doesn’t want to take a break from me. He would send me like around 100+ messages trying to convince me that the friendship can work out if I just “trust” him. As well as begging me to unblock him.

Eventually, on social media platforms that I forgot to delete him on, I had to block because he wouldn’t stop trying to contact me.

Anyways, fast forward it’s been over a month now and nothing happened since and it’s been peaceful. That was until he decided to reach out to me on my art account and asked to collab with me because he felt motivated when he saw my art and it inspired him to do the same. And that he also just thought it would be nice to draw with a “close friend” again.

I didn’t reply to his message, but when he saw that I posted art without replying to him, he asked if I was there.

So my question is, should I block him or keep him unblocked there? I don’t really know what to do.

Him and I aren’t even friends anymore, so I don’t know why he bothered to reach out. It’s been a month since we last talked.

I would give him a second chance and the both of us can try to start anew and reconnect better. But, it just wouldn’t be the same anymore.

I know I’m not perfect and I definitely had my faults in the friendship, but I just don’t appreciate when I thought I was getting mentally better from the grief, he decides to text me out of nowhere again.

Anyways, what are y’all thoughts on the situation? (I know it’s a long rant, I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.)

Depression

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