I suffer from OCD centered around basically every facet of my life, but the most painful part is how it affects my music/music career. I'm a musician in school for music ed and depending on how my OCD is, some weeks I can't practice whatsoever. I start playing for five minutes and am met with agonizing incomprehensible horror. I was kicked out of a band because of my symptoms once and that has only made this exponentially worse. Prozac has helped a lot, and EMDR therapy for my PTSD also, but it's a daily struggle even to do the thing that I love most. I miss in my childhood when music was only ever something fun to do with my friends. I'm curious to see how yall can overcome your intrusive thoughts etc when youre struggling.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
I’m in college for music too and I understand what you’re going through. My anxiety is what has been holding me back the most though. I’m always here to talk!!
distraction is something that gets me through most days with those intrusive and overwhelming thoughts. i will usually stop whatever i’m doing and try to drown myself with some sort of media or something. and then try again a bit later when everything is a little less overwhelming and i can think. but distraction isn’t a long term fix. that’s just something that has helped when i’ve had no proper coping skills
I find it helpful to remind myself that ocd targets what is most valued, which helps explain why it’s so scary and emotional painful - if it does succeed in taking away what we enjoy the most (your music, your passion, your plans for the future, etc.) then we lose that and the part of ourselves we connect to it. My ocd can’t scare me more than the amount of value/passion/love I have for that same thing. I can use the care/love/passion I have to drive what I chose to do. Fear doesn’t have to - I don’t and can’t do this constantly and I don’t think anyone can when.
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