Dealing with Loss of Friends

Lately I’ve been dealing with loss of friends, old and new, it’s very hard on me since I care for each of them deeply, but everyone has been leaving me, I get blocked or unadded, I’ve started stressing that everyone is going to leave me, these days out of over 80 people I used to talk to daily I only have 2 left, I hate to think of what would happen if they turn their backs on me, I’ve been punching walls and scratching my arms until they get badly bruised, it hurts to hear them say I’m immature and annoying because I worry for them when they do drugs or go out, I honestly wish I was never able to be here and experience this