4byfour

150d

I give up all the time.
Idk, I go through these bursts for like a week, and then another 6 months of making no progress whatsoever.
Is it even worth it at this point? I mean the only thing I can do at this point is manage to go through the motions. And I don’t even want to do that anymore. What do I have to look forward to but one week of ‘wow maybe things can get better’.

Depression

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  • Peppy5

    150d

    Are there any activities that you could do that you have a passion for? I'm volunteering at an no kill animal shelter. It's something I'm passionate about and it helps keep me from thinking about my depression and makes me feel like I'm making a difference for the animals. Another thought, have you tried seeing a counselor? I put this off for quite a while because I really didn't think they could do much to help. Once I started earlier this year I found out I was waaaay wrong. By no means do I mean that you won't ever have issues with depression, you will, trust me. But my counselor has helped me understand how to use tools to cope better with it. And finding a counselor that is a good fit for you and gets you is an absolute must.

    • 4byfour

      150d

      I do have a therapist, thank you for the suggestion! I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now and we’re both struggling to see any real progress. I’m so frustrated with it because I’ve had 4 other therapists in the past and this time I decided I wouldn’t give up on it. And maybe I should have, haha. I’m still not sure if it’s been a waste of time or not. ❤️ On top of that, I had one burst where I was excited to get back into music. I was practicing violin for little bits at a time and seeing progress!! And then I just started to feel lonely. And now I can’t pick up the violin. It sucks because I know what the issue is, it’s all self esteem, but what am I supposed to do when I don’t know how to connect with anyone, might as well myself?

  • sabbymer

    150d

    Ooof. I understand those feels.

  • brit23

    150d

    I know how you feel all too well. The one thing I love is yoga and I can't seem to get back on my mat and haven't for a few months now. I've been trying other things such as painting which I enjoy and tonight I cooked and baked dinner and dessert for the first time in a long time. It felt nice to see and taste an end result. But I so wish I could get on my mat. I'm so depressed about it. Your not alone my friend.

  • JingleP

    149d

    It’s ok to give up on somethings and for some periods of time. Sometimes part of the struggle is that we have to continue living and get used to our mental health if we feel little control of it. Doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t continue to want to and try to get better. But try to also work with living in the moment, even if the situation is not great. It can be painful to think that things may never get better. If you’re able to just continue to live as you are now, improvement is always a possibility in the future. Ofc this is how I like to think of it. I don’t think there’s a great chance I’ll get better in the near future so I’m just getting used to my life now. But if this feels more depressing to you please disregard 💕

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