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jipperoni

423d

Venting :) I’m sorta just frustrated. I don’t know how to describe it other than that. I’m frustrated that my energy levels are high on stuff I’m interested in, but low on other things so I’m perceived as lazy. I’m frustrated that I can’t just force myself to do things that I’m not interested in, so that amplifies others’ perceptions of me being lazy. I’m frustrated that I can’t experience my natural emotions without someone thinking I’m weird or annoying. I’m frustrated that I’m not able to make friends like everyone else, and I’m frustrated that when I do, I come off as odd, even if they mean that in a good way. I’m frustrated that I can’t handle things that others can. I’m frustrated that sometimes days suck and I can’t get out of bed or motivate myself to do anything, and I’m frustrated that I’m frustrated about that. I’m frustrated that laws had to be created in order to ensure my equal treatment in jobs bc some people are so closed-minded that they won’t accept anything other than their own reality, but I’m so glad those laws exist. I’m frustrated that people thought I was a recluse and a weird person in high school because I was in the dumps mentally for most of it. I’m frustrated that I no longer truly know who I am because of how many walls I’ve built up, trying to act normal and bearable for those around me. I’m frustrated that most of my learning of social norms was from YouTube, not from experience or from asking people around me. I’m frustrated I had to teach myself everything in my own way because I wasn’t always able to understand what teachers meant by things. I’m frustrated I have to clarify instructions multiple times in order to actually know what I’m supposed to do. I’m frustrated that others are so naive and not wanting to believe someone who looks normal on the outside can be struggling on the inside. I’m frustrated that it takes me reaching a breaking point for them to see that. I’m frustrated that me telling people what I can and cannot handle is not taken seriously. I’m frustrated for others like me too. I’m frustrated that there are countless stories of bullying, harassment, and discrimination because of us being, well, us. I’m frustrated that we feel like we’re alone in our struggles because so many people don’t understand and don’t try to understand. I’m frustrated with the lack of respect for people with mental illness, but I continue to sing my song of hope that it’ll get better. Treat each other with kindness in the meantime <3

Top reply
    • Sadie7B

      398d

      @jipperoni Good luck🤗

    • Sadie7B

      406d

      you can sign asl that's so cool, there's a deaf school in Colorado Springs that is if you're close

      • jipperoni

        399d

        @Sadie7B Oops, didn’t use this app for a few days, but oooohh, that’s about 4 hours from me. There is actually one in SW Denver that’s only a 2-hour drive so maybe I’ll check out that one!

        • Sadie7B

          398d

          @jipperoni Good luck🤗

    • Sadie7B

      407d

      Wow, strong venting I honestly feel the same as you for that but sometimes it takes alot at first to be able to "act" like yourself like to have depression but not letting it affect you it's a long and hard journey and honestly I think you're in the wrong place if you catch what I mean? Have you ever tried exploring the deaf world?

      • jipperoni

        407d

        @Sadie7B I sorta get what you mean! What’s the deaf world though..? Don’t think I’ve heard of that

        • Sadie7B

          407d

          @jipperoni They're people who can't hear but they use their hands to talk instead which is their language is Asl but thing but them is They're bit different from the hearing, they are full of weird people and I mean in a good way like they embrace it and don't hide it and from what you were venting maybe you could try it, like for example rhode island school for the deaf, you could go there and visit

    • Thegeckoguy

      423d

      You hit the nail on the head with this. Depression is a sneaky underhanded jerk that steals away your wants and desires and replaces them with fear and anxiety. Keep feeling good about your intrests and feel no shame for it. Its your life who cares what others think. We live in a hellscape where your worth is tied directly to how much you work or how hard you work. Your worth as a person is who you are not your work ethic. Mental illness is still stigmatized and we are seen as weird or awkward instead of people with a real problem. Nerotypicals do not understand nerodivergents. Keep going and keep being you unapologetically!

      • jipperoni

        423d

        @Thegeckoguy Thanks for your response :) I’m starting to get into a lull again mentally so all of these thoughts are just coming out too fast so I figured I’d at least put some into words. I wish mental illness wasn’t so stigmatized still, but that’s wayyyy too idealistic of me. Taking care of myself for the time being, and I hope you are too <3

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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