Am I Overreacting? Setting Boundaries as an Autistic Person

I would have had the same reaction. If she is concerned about not being able to get your attention You could leave one ear out of the headphones that way she can verbally get your attention. Or you can come up with a signal of sorts.

Okay so basically what’s happening on your moms end is that she feels like you think it’s her that is causing you to be repulsed by being touched (she may have her insecurities too), when in all reality, perhaps (I don’t know you, so it might not be this), you have SPD and touch is awful because it triggers an overwhelming response. It’s touch, not her. It might help (depending on your relationship with your mom) to just explain, mom I love you and I am never repulsed or upset because of who you are. It was the act that happened to upset me because (insert reasons). I just want to let you know. It’s always okay to set boundaries, as others have said, and sometimes people don’t fully understand those boundaries, so explaining might help. I don’t know your relationship though so it may be hard or even impossible.

Never feel guilty for setting boundaries. You also can't control your reflexes. You are not over reacting. If anyone is overeating, it is your mother. She needs to understand that you don't mean anything personal by not liking to be touched and respect your boundaries. (Not that she doesn't, but she shouldn't be upset by you flinching)

It's good that you are setting up boundaries! Maybe to help avoid this in the future, have a talk with her about ways she can get your attention with out touching you! I can see why both of you are upset and having a conversation about what happened, why it happened, both of your feelings when it happened, and what you can do to avoid/stop it from happening again might be a good idea.

You totally are fine! I can understand why she felt hurt and maybe wasn’t considering your boundary on touch but you still set a clear boundary and it’s okay to have moments like this. I’m proud of you for sticking to your boundaries.

No you’re not being sensitive! Everyone has their personal boundaries; whatever makes you uncomfortable you deserve to have other people respect. You can’t control how other people react and their emotions… just because you stand up for yourself doesn’t make their feelings overpower yours!! You have every right to tell her no, and you shouldn’t feel bad about things out of your control!

Setting up boundaries is the best thing you can do, and if she doesnt respect them then she wont respect you. You and her could sit down and have a talk and maybe tell her why the boundaries you have set are in place, have a discussion about them and why they are set.