Waiting on a Grade: A Neurodivergent's Story

This is the first time I’ve felt this nervous in a long time—maybe a whole year and a half. Borderline anxiety attack. I am on the edge of not passing my calculus 1 class. I took it online since it was an option to get credit for college for the class that way without the doom of one final test to determine it all—only I failed ONE test and it brought my grade down by 8%. My final determines whether or not I get the college credit or have to try my case to get the credit with a D+. Heres the thing, as someone who is neurodivergent and has accoms, extra time doesnt exactly help all the time. The only test that even had a time limit was my final, but I was able to finish early because I knew the content (for the most part, small mistakes and details). All my other tests however, had no time limit, and the one test I didnt study well for (which, I didnt even know when the test would be given out, we have to set up time with a proctor, and it had been 2-3 weeks before while we started a new unit since the review for this test, so I think it was quite unfair. two weeks is a lot to really remember content for a test after starting harder content for a whole new topic). This one test dropped my grade so far down, it hardly seemed fair but I can’t really say much since I hadn’t studied for it (my own fault of course). I never used my accoms for the tests in the class because I didn’t think I’d need them since I’d be testing alone, in a counseling office, and it wasn’t timed. So now I’m waiting on my grade for a test I took on Monday and most of my final grades arent even set in stone. I can’t rest or take a break until this grade comes through so I know the plans I need to make for next semester. It’s exhausting every night hoping my grade will go in while I try to sleep (my teachers stay up late), and while feeling that pit in my stomach, lump in my throat on the verge of tears because I just need to know.