Struggling with Mental Health and Insurance Issues

Soo. Super emotional about this. But I have tried eveuthing under the son prescribed by a family dr. My whole life I have felt broke, doomed, the mistake regret hated epic failure.. the list goes on. I have been struggling more everyday I feel like I’m getting worse. Wa hoping for answers… but I was told spravoto Might be my answer or TMS And yet I struggle more then most people I know, I fear I will never get help from family support like EVER!! I get told I have to take this and do TMS but now I also lost my main comfort counselor the only one who could have basically help me more then they’ll ever know . I trusted now bc of insurance I have no therapy help and now I might not also be able to take the TMS or meds, due to insurance issues or brown trauma… I could be over thinking. Things might work.. but with really more concerns and and questioning the UNKNOWN. How to to help! Is the any other Way. If insurance doesn’t afford I am going to ball my crying eyes out. ): so much in one question but idk I just wanna cry and feel like someone actually cares… tired of saying something and being ignored.. mg feelings should be important right. Don’t I matter💔😭