Sexuality crisis and self-hate

Feel free to DM me if you would like. I am grayromantic (still questioning) and asexual (sex repulsed). I discovered my asexuality almost 9 years ago and I still go through periods of time where I have to grieve that part of myself. At the end of the day though, it is just how I am and I have to accept that. I definitely understand the feeling of nausea when trying to interact with others sexually or romantically. It takes a lot of connection for me to feel romantically attracted to someone. It is hard given how sexual and relationship obsessed our society is. I wish I were different. I wish I were allosexual and able to appear more "normal" to society. It is hard to accept for some of us, AND it is who we are. You may be ace and/or aro or maybe there is underlying fears holding you back, but you have plenty of time to figure yourself out!