im not enjoying my past favorite foods. a caramel frappacino used to taste like birthday cake and now it just tastes like cheap bitter coffee. i dont like how lonely i feel when i type away all my feelings on my laptop by myself. i dont like how confused i get when i try to communicate with my mom. i dont like how angry and frustrated i get sometimes. it feels like i cant do anything about it and how i feel. i dont like watchinf netflix on my laptop cus it makes me feel depressed and lonesome. i dont like how lonely i feel in the second half of the day i dont like it
i dont like how im still stuck here. in this place. in this cycle. i want to feel better and stronger. its just for a long time i have been so weak
i wonder if i can connect to them on some level. im just really lonely. i guess im not so desperate cus i set up a boundary between me and mom because she kinda doesnt understand and doesnt respecr how i feel. i wish she did but she doesnt. like the fact that i am pisssed at her for always making me feel sorry for her and not accepting any courtesy, help. or support and it hurts to see her like that and i dont like that she milks us feeling sorry for her into something else in her mind.
im so alone. so lonely i hate it it bothers me i dont want this to last anymore


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