Struggling with Mental Health and Isolation

I’m really struggling right now and I don’t have any kind of support system. Everything is so shitty. I’m the weird autistic kid at school, my friends have gone to college and forgotten me, i might not even be able to go to college, nothing in my classes makes sense, and i’m so close to relapsing on my ed. I honestly just wanna kill myself. It really doesn’t seem worth it to stay if it’s just gonna keep getting better than getting even worse. It’s like the calm before a storm but the storm keeps coming back.