Anybody else only experience derealization around other people? I deal with trauma from when I was an orphan and my mind becomes so chaotic when around others, especially those I care about. That I just shut down
Well, its kinda different but I remember my derealization getting significantly worse with other people. I would completely shut down, and I wouldn't talk to anyone at all. I would forget I existed, my self, and just worry about what other people think of me. I would start day dreaming, and focusing on how dreamy/cloudy I feel. I'd overanalyze everything everybody said, and prepare to say something but never actually get to it because Id be too scared.
I really relate to that, it’s debilitating, has it improved at all for you?
Yes it is. And yes it has gotten a lot better :) I'm proud of u and keep going! If u ever wanna chat dont be afraid to hmu
I go into a crowded store and my next memory is getting into the car to go home. Allegedly I went grocery shopping, but I don't remember it even a little
I will be having a conversation with someone and the next thing I know they're talking about something I have no idea what the hell they're talking about because everything just went blank for a while.
i get REALLY nervous around lots of people like one time i guess i went into an emotional flashback w/out knowing that sent me into a panic attack, my ocd lost it because the bed was so dirty, i thought if i fell off the bed i would die so i sat there crying until my mom found me & fixed the bed & fed me multiple bowls of cereal, i was at a party the house was packed, absolutely awful, it was like watching myself be a kid again just scared & abandoned, i read that it's your brain reliving stuff that was so traumatic you just shut down when it happened so you have to process it after the fact, fascinating but extremely unpleasant if unprepared :(((
I feel you!! Thank you for sharing this. mine is “chronic” (idk if I’m using that word correctly? essentially it’s just the way things have always been for me and it doesn’t go away) so while it doesn’t only come up around people, it definitely becomes more debilitating around people! Especially those I care about too. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that - Happy to message with you if you want to talk about it 💛
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