Regretting My Teen Years: Giving in to Bullying

Sometimes I feel like I wasted my teen yrs / childhood by giving into bullying a bit and not shamelessly being a kid. In middle school I was really confident and went by the idea of “it’s better to have no friends then bad friends”. I didn’t have any real friends. I got so lonely, desperate and caved and thought “it’s bad friends or no friends” so in freshman year in high school I tryed to be as normal as possible. I didn’t become popular or anything but was toleratable to some ppl. But looking back It wasn’t worth it filtering myself for other ppl. Sophomore yr and up I slowly became myself again and I was alone a lot but happier to be more true to myself! But I did have a few good friends (in a grade above me) But also I didn’t even want to be friends with most of the ppl at my school. ( I didn’t like them). Ig I feel guilty that I spent so much of my time being lonely with paralyzing depression and did nothing when I could’ve used that alone time for my own interests and enjoyment as a kid.