So I have a friend who never really likes the clothes or shoes I wear. She’s always made jokes about my fancy shoes whether flats or now heels. It just makes me feel like she’s being a bad friend when she does those sorts of things. I’m someone who thinks everyone’s unique styles are cool. She’s someone who thinks if people aren’t dressing her way they look like a grandma or something. I was excited because I got a new pair of heels and thought they were cute and comfortable but then she told me that they looked like something a grandma would wear. Which. Being in my 20s isn’t really a compliment here. Not really sure what to do. I’m normally all flats with fancy events. Usually I wear gym shorts and tshirts and tennis shoes all day so I’m not the typical I guess female who is into clothing.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)


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  • In_vino_veritas


    My mother is that person in my life - unless my style choices are completely completely in line with her own, she doesn't like them. For example: -Once when I was in my late twenties, I got my hair cut shorter than I ever had before (Marilyn Monroe was my inspiration) - it was a huge deal for me since I'd always had long hair and I really liked the new do. I went to show my mom and the moment I stepped out of the car, the first thing she had to say to me was "I hate it." And wouldn't look at me or speak to me for the next few hours. -This spring, I had just managed to work off the weight I'd gained over the holidays and gotten back into my favorite pair of jeans - I was pretty darn proud of myself and feeling pretty fly. I went over to my mom's - her comment? "You know, you're really too fat for those pants." Fact is, no matter who that person is saying those things - that is straight up negative energy bringing you down. I think a solid measure of narcissism and insecurity is at work in my mom and could possibly be at work with your acquaintance as well. By putting you down, they aggrandize themselves and their choices. I take a lot of pride in the way I dress and choose to present myself as well and negative comments like that just aim to dim your light. I know it hurts but the flaw is not with your self expression. Stay strong and stay true to you. Perhaps have a heart to heart with this person and discuss with them the impact their negative comments have on you and your relationship...I can't say my attempts to do this with my mom have lead to a total restructuring of our relationship but...it has at least drawn her up short on a few occasions and you may be able to make better headway with a friend than a parent.

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