Ive been having such a hard time lately. It feels like no one cares and doesn’t want to listen to me. Constantly being told that I’m not feeling the emotions I’m feeling is a constant thing in my parents house. That’s why I moved in with my grandparents. I can never speak my mind bc they think I’m lying to them. My friends are too busy for me due to depression and their boyfriends. Yesterday I was really considering ending it all… bc maybe… they would acknowledge me if I was dead? I didn’t even care if I didn’t see it or not… I was angry with them and wanted them to learn not to ignore a friend in need. I have told them that I was suicidal… and they literally didn’t want to talk about it… So maybe they just don’t care. If a friend came up to me and told me they were having a rough time, I would help and comfort them… bc I know! I didn’t hurt myself… but I have in the past. I’m just tired of no one listening… and for some stupid reason… I labeled myself as a sacrifice so that friends could be more aware of there friends emotions and try to help… but I had a change of thought and told myself that they wouldn’t even be aware of my death bc they never text me. I’m very emotional right now… sorry if I sound crazy. I’ve lost being able to communicate with people normally from being isolated so much…
You don't sound crazy at all you just sound exhausted and for good reason. I'm sorry that you're going through this I've had my share of bad days and I'm only recently recovering from my isolation habits but I'm glad you're alive to tell your own story
Please keep living it'll get better and don't kill yourself just to get other people to acknowledge you it's not worth it you need better friends if they don't even care about you
Depression likes to come up with reasons dieing would be a good idea. Mine has since I can remember, at least when I was 6 if not younger. It's always wrong. But like the death card in tarot I have found when those thoughts start coming again it means it's time for a change. You already made a good step in trying to get out of the toxic environment that was harming you. Now it's time to look at what other parts of your life need to "die" so you can open the door for something better. Right now I'm overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do to makes things better and I struggle with it feeling overwhelming and not worthwhile. But I know that just means I need help. So I contacted a therapist and am reaching out to someone who is better at thinking through problems and coming up with a plan of action than I am to help me prioritize and plan steps. You could probably benefit from finding someone who will listen compassionately at the bare minimum. But you sound like an extrovert who is suffering from lack of social interaction as well. Maybe if it's safe in your area see if there are any free lessons, or clubs, or coffee house poetry nights or whatever that you can get to and spend some time with other people, even if they are not close friends it would be a small step to feeling more connected and maybe making better friends.
Hey I'm willing to be friends, with you, I'm an empath, if you ever need to talk/rant
I relate a lot to all of this, unfortunately. Here for you
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