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MatchaBunn

553d

How do you decide what to do for fun? I’m probably just in the throes of depression/executive dysfunction, but I’m having a hard time deciding how to spend my time. Bonus question: When do you know you need to spend time with other people versus yourself?

Top reply
    • chancy

      552d

      Making your self get up and going outside for vitamin d, which helps alot. I tan and that helps so much. I get out every Dat or night. I love being outside now. I'm a shop alcoholic, so buying your self something. Exercise that will get you up and going. Now being around others is a MUST. You need to be around others that are positive, family or friends. Just find God in your heart. I hope that helps some.

    • brabbit

      552d

      I'm also in the middle of a deep depression but I'll try to answer your question for both of our benefit. I was always the person to adopt the likes of people I surrounded myself with- hobbies, music taste, etc. Until I started to become self-aware in my last marriage, I continued to do that. I basically came to realize that at the end of the day, your happiness is all that truly matters. We often date/jump into relationships with people before we learn who we are & how to love ourselves. But how can we truly be happy when we don't even know who we really are? How can we expect others to make us happy when we don't even know how to make ourselves happy? That's a lot of pressure to put on someone else. Take some time to date yourself. Take yourself places you've always wanted to visit and do the things you dream of doing with someone else by yourself instead (or with a friend.) Learn what it is that truly makes YOU happy. When you find those things, write them down! Then when you're in the middle of this depression and have no clue what to do, find the list of things that make you happy & pick one of them. ❤️ As far as when to spend time with other people.. after you've spent some time on yourself with some self-care, you should feel a little bit more "charged" to spend some energy on others. ❤️

    • SweetTea77

      552d

      Do you want to spend your time with a charter box with so much noise in your mind? No? That's how you decide. Pic up your charged phone and look for state parks. Lol at nature from a different angle. Take photos from the experience you want to share or take away from the days moment. I actually challenged myself to something recently. I have been dating the same person for well over a year who I met online. And I now find myself in a similar situation as you. So I took back to the online dating site as I've heard so many men tell me how difficult it is to date and they're on the verge of giving up. I reformatted my profile to include things that I enjoy doing and that I am looking only for friends. I was very upfront and honest that I am in a relationship, not an open relationship, nor do I want to be in an open relationship, nor am I looking for FWB, but that I am looking for FWS friends with substance! I screen through chatting with them on the app whether or not they have the character I'm looking for, or the quality and traits that would make me a better person. I listen to their issues and figure out where I might be able to play my life experience to promote growth for them. It's a win-win situation. You would be amazed at how many people are willing to be open-minded to that. Who knows in the end you might just find somebody special that you click with! The frick to your frack. Give it a try you never know!

    • b_ski

      552d

      I play on my computer. I play games with my friends using discord and a webcam so I can talk and see people while playing. If I feel like being alone I turn off the cam and play solo games. I try to read books and work on neuro rehabilitation.

    • chancy

      552d

      Making your self get up and going outside for vitamin d, which helps alot. I tan and that helps so much. I get out every Dat or night. I love being outside now. I'm a shop alcoholic, so buying your self something. Exercise that will get you up and going. Now being around others is a MUST. You need to be around others that are positive, family or friends. Just find God in your heart. I hope that helps some.

    • jadedphoenixburning

      552d

      I once loved to write fanfiction on fanfiction.net under the name jadedphoenixburning. That is before brain fog took over. I once posted a chapter a day. Now, they are months in between. Part of it, I know, is because I would get a rush from reviews some it encouraged me to write. It seems no one reviews anymore, though. Now, I put most of my energy into both my service dog and service dog in training.

      • Octavius

        552d

        @jadedphoenixburning - Oh I used to write and review on FanFiction.com too! I loved reading and reviewing. Actually, I reviewed more than I read. I have a book that's been in the making since I was in HS. lol A chapter a day is very impressive! 👏👏 I applaud you for that. But, that doesn't mean you have to stop writing. Even if you are going back and reviewing, editing, or writing a little drabble of something you want to happen later, you're still writing. Especially if writing is something that you love and makes you feel free. Write about your service dog! Start some short story adventures about the two of you 😉😊 Putting your energy into your service dog and making sure it gets proper training is good energy to be spending. But, make sure you are doing other things too 😉 What kind of writing did you do?

    • Octavius

      553d

      Both great questions. Let's see... When I'm deciding what I want to do, I examine if I want to be any kind of "productive" or if I need down time. If I want to be productive, I might see if there's cleaning or upkeep to do around the house. If cleaning makes me feel more anxious than normal, I might go to something creative like painting, cross stitching, or attempting a new DIY. I'm not sure if you're into those kinds of activities, but replace them with things that you enjoy. That make you feel free and yourself. As to your bonus question, I have found that I need to spend time with others (that I know are supportive and will give it to me straight. Not a yes man) when I'm feeling down, angry (yes even that), unmotivated, or want to curl in a corner and never come out. For me, the right people bring me up and out of my slump. They give me energy, life, a new outlook, and motivation to do the things I was thinking I couldn't do. I hope those help! I'm open to clarification of anything you need 😊

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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