See Alike in...

Alike App

Browser

Humanity

555d

What do I do I’ve never had friends I had people from extra curricular activities such as chess or sports I’ve grown up alone My father told me it was a curse since he’s noticed my lack of socialism he’s told me he’s grown up the same, I don’t blame him tho he hasn’t really been in my life My interesting are different from my peers from when I attended public school I always felt isolated alone I was scared to be in a group not only for fear of having to carry the project or to fake being interesting in small talk I tried small talk I tried to connect to anyone I had no standards but I was always alone I long for personal connection I tried fill the void with books documentary’s music healthy things, I’ve always been obsessed with musicians and i read how they lived, but majority of the ones I like have all committed suicide or some relating issues so I’ve never found any help from they’re diaries or auto biography’s I write poems to socialize I get out my bad thoughts but it no longer works I paint or draw my issues but it no longer works I’ve been in a sleepless slumber for a month now I feel so alone and if I’m anything like my father this is how life is I started drinking but it no longer helps Smoking gives me a nice high with music but it leaves and leaves me alone shaking and worse then before I’m sad but I don’t cry I wish I had a friend I long for companionship Sometimes I open my socials and look at other people and covet what they have I’ve tried looking at myself blaming my face or how I act or how different I am or if it’s my race But it doesent make sense I don’t understand why I can’t click I just know I’m to weak to go on like this forever Something had to change and it seems like Everytime I try to do something to change some issue presents itself and demolishes my hopes I have plans for my future but I don’t want a future if this is how it is, all my life from a young age I’ve thought about the future I’ve always had a yearning coming of age deep hole in my chest that had me awake at night restless Writing this makes me disgusted with myself I feel no pity and I look like a cock roach I’ve been successful I know who I am but who that person is clearly can’t have any companionship I’ve had relationships but they’ve all felt the same I’ve never connected with any of them and trust me I’ve been thru quite a few The only people I’ve liked left me I don’t understand why, they got spouses or other friends but they forgot about me I don’t blame them but it doesent mean I’m not angry Honestly I’m writing this like it’s an entry If you’ve read this then I appreciate you

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

Want to chat or share? Download the Alike app now and get complete access to Alike.health's unique features.

Find people who are
experiencing a similar
medical reality

100% Free
100%
Free

Download Alike for the full experience

JOIN

View All

Bupropion

night sweats

paranoid

Valium

sertraline

palpitations

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

palpitations

Depression

Valium

Bupropion