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4byfour

393d

Do you ever notice the difference between your conscious and your subconscious mind? Sometimes I look back and think to myself, “wow, I avoided this person over this big issue, not that tiny issue I thought it was about” or “man, I got really anxious because I ignored it and stuffed it down, that wasn’t sudden at all like I thought it was”. Idk, I feel like I mostly noticed this in therapy. I used to think I was so self aware when in reality I was just really really hyper aware 🙄 I can be totally blindsided to myself sometimes.

Top reply
    • 4byfour

      389d

      @Denotchka yeah I’m wicked stupid rn

    • Quillathe

      390d

      Yeah I had this one faculty member that I had to work really closely with start gaslighting me and it took a major toll on my mental health. Once I got away from her I was able to look back at the full scope of our relationship and she all of the little warning signs before it got really bad. At the time I just thought we didn't get each other's personality and she was adjusting to her new role at the university but, no a year later and she's still just as bad. (Or so I hear from others)

      • 4byfour

        389d

        @Quillathe sometimes I wonder if I was gaslighted a lot. Growing up I wasn’t really acknowledged as a person with feelings, really. I just kind of existed to be ‘easy’ for everyone and was encouraged to stay that way. Anytime I opened up I wasn’t really taken very seriously and everything was ‘water under the bridge’ or intellectualized before it was even handled. It wasn’t until I left my childhood home that things started to click as to like, “wow, I’m an individual. And I have…do do do doooooo…FEELINGS!!” It’s so weird when you look at those relationships from an outsiders point of view, and everything you thought was genuine was either them unconsciously tearing you down with them, or them genuinely manipulating you. I’m so sorry that person took so much of your time and energy. It’s hard because I have to remind myself that I’m not a perfect person either, but we both sure as heck deserve more.

    • Denotchka

      390d

      Mindfulnessis a good idea and it may even save your life. Sounds like therapy is realky helping you out.

      • 4byfour

        389d

        @Denotchka yeah I’m wicked stupid rn

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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