Coping with Self-Harm: What to Do When You Feel Uneasy?

I feel terrible whenever I see posts that went unanswered for so long...it isn't right. I'm kat, I'm a recovering self harmer of 16+ years. First off I want to say I am so sorry nonone came to give advice for so long, I wish I had made it sooner. Second I'm going to address this post in case a relapse happens again, which is likely as its a nasty habit to kick. 1. Remember that self harming is an addiction and coping mechanism. Reminding yourself that it's more than just a thing that happens but is actually an addiction is important. It's highly difficult to kick and it's not your fault. All of us have relapses at some point, some day to day while others even decades down the road when we thought it was behind us. We all have been there and we know how it feels. 2. Self care is your friend after relapse. Every self harmer in my opinion should prepare a self care box/tote when relapses happen. You can put in basics such as bandages (different sizes for different wound sizes), triabtibotic ointment (recommended over hydrogen peroxide as that just causes more hurt), guaze, etc. If you cannot prepare an actual box I would stash basic items in a drawer for yourself. Your care package doesn't only have to be basic stuff it can also include things that will help distract or prevent a self harming Episode. These can be markers, fine tips pens/markers, rubber bands, hairbands etc. You can also put things in there like a soft blanket or sweater, that favorite movie or movie list to watch after, some sweet treats or favorite snacks. So we would have preventative items, medical care items in case of harm, and items to bring comfort after the Episode and put ourselves in a state of relax/calm/or quiet. You may break down and that's okay too, your feelings are valid and so are your frustrations. 3. Look for methods that may distract or fulfill that need without spilling blood. Let's start with therepists favorite thing to recommend: rubberbands/hairbands. This is pretty simple, you put one on your wrist and snap yourself lightly with it. Now this may sound silly and it is but it gives a sting factor that can register as the ow needed. Now this doesn't mean stretch it as far as it'll go and welt yourself on purpose, try to keep it reasonable and you can repeat as nessisary and you can take this one on the go when that itch/need emerges. Next we are going to go over watercolor markers. Sounds dumb right? However this is more of a lighter approach to things. When feeling the urge *earlier stages of should I shouldn't i* you can use markers to draw on your skin. Sometimes this can distract the brain oddly. You can draw pictures or cuss words or whatever you desire in the heat of the moment on your skin. I do stress the whole watercolor as when your done you can just go wash it off so no one will know or see anything you did. However you can also go the opposite with it and put nice things on your body or just doodle on yourself. No one to filter what u draw or put on your skin and after you can wash it away. If you have a partner you can even see if they would draw on you and put nice things there just for you in those moments (it's a lovely bonding experiance). You can even ask a friend to do so if you have a trustworthy close friend and if you want you can return the favor and draw nice things on them. Next would be fine tipped markers or pens. These are a little more logical maybe to some. What you do is use them instead of something sharp and without breaking skin. So when you go to draw essentially on your area of choice, the fine points give the pressure or mirror the dig feeling you get when you use a instrument to do the deed. However the goal is to allow that pressure without breaking skin. Draw what would be your normal wounds or wound pattern as many times as you'd like until the feeling either fades or lessens to where you can manage it, use preventative items, or force your body into rest mode. Essentially the pressure and the sight of the marks can give you a simular feeling to actual deed via the brain *red is more effective for obvious reasons to start with*. 4. If you have a trusted friend, partner, or even family member to confide in, use that resource to your advantage. It's always hard to confide in someone and express the feelings that come with self harming. The guilt, the anxiety of being discovered, the frustrations, all of it is hard. However if you have someone to confide in even if its hard to admit to relapses, it makes you feel better. Even if its just to cry to them, or rant, or look for encouragement in those hard times. But if no one fits the bill you can always confide in someone that's simular to me in the fact that they are living survivors of it if therepy isn't a option or isn't comfortable for you.