I just can’t deal with young people dying. First my mom in 2018 and now my dad’s gf of 2 years. They were 36 and 34. How does anybody even deal with that?? Both in uncontrollable tragedies. It’s not fair and I don’t fucking get it


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  • adixon


    It's always a tragedy when young people's lives get cut so short. The thing about young people dying is that it doesn't just cut the life short of the person who passes. All of the lives of the people involved with them before they died are also cut short. Their lives as they knew them to be are no longer feasible and they need to reframe their lives to accommodate the loss of this person. Some requiring much more work than others. Some facing their entire lives and future plans being rendered moot all at once. Up until that young person died, they had a massive impact on the lives of those around them whether it seemed like it or not. They were someone's child, best friend, lover, sibling, parent, etc. that those people expected to have around in their lives for much longer. Now the lives they have been living and the lives they envisioned themselves going on to live is missing a major component. They're forced to live a life without that person and thus forced to restructure their current lives and expectations for the future to fit this new concept of reality that they've never considered. Elderly people are expected to die. We are more prepared for our relationships with the elderly to end in death than we are our relationships with younger people because we take death into consideration as people age. When young people die, it's a tragedy because nobody is ready for it. The death of a young person causes devastating blows to many more than just their own life. My fiancé passed away 5 days before his 30th birthday on May 11, 2021. My whole life stopped. Everything that I had was gone. Everything that I had worked to build since high school was gone. The future together that I was working towards was so suddenly inviable. I still haven't recovered from it. I'm still picking up the pieces and trying to rebuild a life without him. It's agony. As cliché as it sounds though and as much as I absolutely HATED to hear people tell me this in the beginning: it really does get easier with time. Not because the situation gets better or because the pain lessens, but because you become accustomed to it over time and you start to learn how you can live with it. You learn how to live along side it without it overwhelming you.

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